


An Adventure With Pioneers

by WallaceAndGromitGirl



Series: The Piratesverse [6]
Category: Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012)
Genre: Adventure, Bandits & Outlaws, Exploration, Gen, Humor, Major Original Character(s), Training, Western
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-08 03:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallaceAndGromitGirl/pseuds/WallaceAndGromitGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to the Wild West. A land of ruthless bandits, mad inventors, annoying bison and an adventure waiting for its unlikely hero. A mysterious masked vigilante, perhaps? Nope. A noble, clever Indian? Not even close. An endlessly curious albino pirate with his trusty dodo and questionable amount of common sense? Perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Most people can look at a cloud and make some shape out of it. The Albino Pirate, when sufficiently bored, could weave veritable epics from them.

He was stretched out on the deck, one hand on the sleeping dodo at his side. Polly snored as he gently stroked her feathers, but he took no notice. His eyes were focused on the sky, and his mind was far away. The big one on the left was a flying boat, he had decided, and the little wisp sticking out was the most magnificent pirate in all the land. That pudgy gray one next to it was a dragon, and he was trying to run away with the pirate's friends in his razor-sharp claws. _Don't worry!_ said the pirate, and his ship went flying after the mean old beast. Did they have dragons here in America? Wouldn't _that_ be exciting!

The flying boat was just about to catch up to the animal when a breeze swept across the image, scattering it. "Don't go!" Albino Pirate said, sitting up. "I haven't gotten to the end yet!" But the clouds had already dissipated into particles. More gray masses were lurching on the heels of the wind, darkening as they approached. From the distance came the barely audible rumble of thunder. **  
**

A simian hand waved in front of the lad's face, followed by two notecards. **MEETING. NOW.**

"I'm coming, Mr. Bobo," Albino Pirate sighed. Picking himself up, he took one last glance at the remains of his imaginary adventure before hurrying to the captain's cabin.

* * *

The Pirate Captain had been greatly pleased to discover that the ruthenium-to-doubloon exchange rate was indeed quite high. High enough, in fact, to fulfill a certain dream of his and outfit the boat with a set of wheels just like the Pirate King's. With those in place, he was free to pursue his other dream. That was what had led them west, to this forest of trees with thick trunks and little leaves **—** gold wasn't just buried here, it _grew_ here. Enough to start a Pirate of the Year winning streak that would last for the rest of one's life.

On that morning, the crew gathered around their captain's desk and watched him spread out a map covered with notes and scribbles. "It's all a very tricky business, you see," he began, "because sometimes you dig up gold and sometimes you dig up something that just _fancies_ it's gold and wants to mingle with the real stuff..."

Not even half a year had passed since the last contest. _We're getting a head start,_ the captain declared. _Just a few weeks of work, and we'll have a hundred times what Bellamy can carry in that whale of his!_

Albino Pirate studied the map with wide, eager eyes, the captain's words going into one of his ears and sailing out the other. One could find plenty of gold on the ships and islands they constantly passed, but this **—** this was someplace no pirate had _ever_ been before. How could there not be a grand adventure of some sort here, just waiting to be happened upon?

"I've got it narrowed down to these spots," the captain continued, pointing at two hills which he had marked with Xs. Drawing a line in the air, he sliced the desk in two. "Half of us take the one to the north, half of us take the one to the east."

This left Albino Pirate, who stood across from him, in the middle. "What can I do, Captain?"

For a moment, the Pirate Captain did not answer. Instead he began to fidget and clear his throat many times. "There's this...this _very_ _important_ job I want you to do."

The Pirate With A Scarf sighed. "Here it comes..."

Albino Pirate took note of this. "What's wrong? Is it something dangerous?"

"Oh, no, not in the least," said the captain. "I want you to stay here and guard the boat."

The boy's face briefly remained frozen in its cheerful smile, as though waiting for the real assignment. As he realized that he was not mistaken, the smile drooped.

"Someone has to, you know," the captain added. "We can't just leave her unattended for a whole day. There's Americans around, who _knows_ what might happen?"

"But I want to **—** "

"That's an order, lad!"

Albino Pirate looked to his friends for assistance, but they only averted their eyes. "...Yes, Captain."

The captain appeared equally uncomfortable. "Er...good. We'll see you this evening, then. The rest of you come along."

"Ye'll be fine," Pirate With Gout said, patting the boy's shoulder as the others filed past. "Perhaps Polly can keep ya company."

Albino Pirate nodded, but otherwise did nothing.

* * *

The Pirate With A Scarf waited until they were off the ship to speak. "Sir, there aren't any towns around for miles."

"I know," the captain finished. "What I _didn't_ know is how to go about telling him the news. You can't make him the slightest bit unhappy without feeling perfectly horrid."

"We can still bring him along. It isn't _that_ hard to stop him from wandering off."

"I don't want what happened to him in London to happen again, Number Two!"

"Why don't you tell him so?"

"It wouldn't be enough of a reason for him. You know that."

For once, Pirate With A Scarf did not have a thing to say in response. He could still remember that week with an unnerving amount of clarity.

"...Do you think I'm doing the right thing, Number Two?"

"I can't say I don't."

Sticking his head out from a gun port, Albino Pirate watched as the crew split in half and went its separate ways, soon disappearing into the trees. Polly brushed against his legs, cooing. The boy sat down and began to pet her. "I wish we could have an adventure, Polly."

* * *

As time passed, it brought the now-black storm clouds. Night came early as they covered the sun. The rain they emitted came gradually at first, but it wasn't long before gallons were tumbling down and thunder was crashing all around.

Albino Pirate awoke with a jolt. The floor was wet, and Polly was no longer under his arm. Water poured through the open hatch into the hold, and several blue feathers floated in a puddle just beneath it.

"Polly!" he cried, struggling up the ladder and onto the deck. A burst of icy wind nearly knocked him over, and he flinched at a flash of lightning. "Polly, where are you?" he said as he strained to see through the downpour.

Another lightning flash illuminated the lifeboat which hung precariously from the port side, above a swift, foaming river. There stood Polly, pushing up the tarp and wiggling her way under it.

"Come out of there, Polly!" Approaching the side of the ship, Albino Pirate carefully jumped down from the deck to the tarp. The rotting wood and rusted metal of the pulley squeaked, barely able to contain this sudden weight. One corner of the tarp was loose, and he crawled under this into the cool darkness of the lifeboat. Polly was curled under a bench, wide-eyed and shivering. "It's only a little rain, Polly," he told her. "Nothing bad's going to happen."

Another gust of wind came roaring in, and the old pulley finally snapped.

Albino Pirate screamed as the lifeboat fell downwards and hit the river. It picked up speed, lurching up and down in a quick, sickening rhythm. Water sprayed in from the loose tarp, and the timbers rattled with each motion of the rapids. The boy and the dodo could only cover their heads and shut their eyes as their craft slammed into rocks, spun around and was swept away.


	2. Chapter 2

On the heels of the departing storm came sunrise and mud **—** but mostly mud. Mud which made it nearly impossible to walk without having to continually pull one's feet out of the ground. Mud which clung to the pirates as they trudged fruitlessly along. Mud which had grabbed the Pirate Ship's front wheels and was slowly dragging it down bow-first.

"It'll take us all mornin' to get 'er out!"

"More like all day."

"More like all _week."_

"Have an hour's leave," the captain told them. "I'll get the ropes ready."

They were sprawled out on the deck in half a second.

"Ahoy, Albino Pirate!" the captain called out as he climbed down into the hold. "We've returned!" Surely the lad and Polly would lift the crew's spirits.

There was no sign of the boy, only a layer of ankle-deep water covering the floor.

"...I wouldn't call it a disappointing haul! Of course, you need to actually _have_ a haul to call it disappointing..."

Still no answer.

"Cap'n!" Pirate With Gout yelled. "Cap'n, ya ought to examine this!" He and the others were alert now, crowding together and talking in low whispers.

"Did you find them?" the captain demanded as he rushed back.

At first, they stared at him only with confusion. Then their eyes widened with realization and horror.

Mr. Bobo pointed a trembling finger to the deck. A line of little, wet barefoot prints and the occasional blue feather traveled from the hold hatch to the starboard side of the ship, where the lifeboat was supposed to be hanging. Only the jagged stumps of the pulleys remained. The rumbling of the rapids below left no doubt as to where the rest had fallen.

The muscles of the captain's face tightened as his gaze followed the trail. When he laid eyes upon the wreckage, the color drained from his face. "...I want you all to prepare for a search at once," he finally said. "Number Two, I'd like a word."

The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets And Kittens climbed up to the crow's nest for a better look at the land, while the others went to the hold to gather supplies.

"Sir?" Pirate With A Scarf said, putting his hand on the captain's shoulder. "What do you need?"

"Isn't this the part where you cheer me up, Number Two?"

"Well...I suppose there's a chance he's..."

"Yes?"

_Alive,_ he thought. "Not far off," he said. "Perhaps the boat caught on something. That river can't go on forever."

* * *

He awoke to the sensation of something hard tapping gently on his face, followed by a soft cooing in his ear.

"Not yet, Polly," the Albino Pirate said, cracking his eyes open a sliver. There was some sort of cloth hanging above him, but he was too groggy to pay it any mind.

The dodo answered with a loud, persistent squawk and started to headbutt his torso.

"It's much too early..."

Polly's claws clacked on the wood of the floor as she waddled off. Sighing, he began to drift off again — wait a moment, how had she been able to reach him from the floor? And how did that cloth get up there? **  
**

He flinched as Polly tore the cloth away, letting a large, white light shine straight onto his delicate skin and eyes. "Put it out!" he exclaimed, flailing around in an attempt to escape this new disturbance. As he sat up, he grabbed the edge of the lifeboat...the _lifeboat?_

Everything came back in an instant. Suddenly awake, Albino Pirate grabbed Polly, dove back under the tarp and crawled to the back of the boat. "Where are we, Polly...?"

They listened. No thunder or rapids, nor monsters with a taste for albino lads and dodos. Only birdsong and the quiet sloshing of water as it lapped against the walls of the boat.

Gulping, the boy crawled back to the uncovered end of the boat and poked his head out into the world.

Their vessel was floating in the middle of a wide lake, its waters placid and clear. Albino Pirate could see its pebbly bottom, and the gray fish that swam beneath and around the boat. The strange trees were clustered all about the water, concealing the various birds chirping out their morning songs. _Mr. Darwin would be having a wonderful time learning them all,_ he thought as he tried to whistle along.

Polly was looking in the other direction, squawking with fascination at something on the shore. On the grass just beyond the rocky beach sat a big wagon, the kind with the roof that the captain had shown them all pictures of.

Albino Pirate grabbed one of the oars in the bottom of the boat. "Hello there!" he called out as he began paddling to land. "Could you tell us where we are, perchance?"

As he neared, however, he realized that something was very wrong. The back end of the wagon was sagging, and all four of the wheels were beginning to rot. There weren't any people about, nor animals attached to the wagon. He quickly jumped from the boat, only to yelp as the rocks poked his bare feet. Tiptoeing across the stones and avoiding the sharper ones, he stepped onto the grass, approached the back of the wagon and peered inside. "Is anyone here?"

It had been abandoned, no doubt. All he found inside were a few overturned sacks, some barrels and boxes, a little wicker basket and an old leather chest. From one of the sacks spilled a number of yellow apples.

_No harm in having a little breakfast,_ Albino Pirate thought, and his stomach loudly agreed with the sentiment.

The apples were sweet and made a fine crunch when bit into. Another sack contained a grainy bread of sorts, and an opened box contained several tins of Polly's favorite biscuits. In the barrels were blocks of cheese with holes in them and strips of unfamiliar meat packed in salt which were so tough that he could hardly chew them.

After eating his fill, Albino Pirate opened the trunk. Beneath the wool blankets sat shirts, trousers, a dress or two, and a hat **—** a white, wide-brimmed ten gallon hat with a band of blue and white gingham, just sitting there in the bottom of the chest. _Does it **really** hold ten gallons? _ He picked it up and placed it on his own head. It came down over his eyes a bit, but it shaded him well. Pushing the brim up, he looked back inside the chest and found another treasure; thick little cowboy boots of a bright red hue. These he also tried on, and they fit him perfectly. How grand he must look! If only the others could see!

His grin faded. _They must be terribly worried about me by now._ _I know! I'll find that river and go back to where we started!_

He filled the basket with some of the food and went back towards the boat. "Come along, Polly!"

Polly squawked in response, but she didn't appear.

"Polly, we're leaving now!" he called, looking around for a sign of her.

To the left of the wagon and framed by the trees was a ledge jutting out over the unknown. On it sat Polly, seemingly waiting for him to notice this.

Albino Pirate followed her. "What are you... _oh...!"_ His jaw dropped, and his grin returned wider than ever as he marveled at the view before them. _  
_

The forest ended at the cliff and turned to a dusty plain that stretched as far as one could see. Shrubs and rocks dotted the landscape, drawing their eyes to the gargantuan towers of red rock on the horizon. Carved from the cliffside were weather-beaten platforms that descended into this new world.

For a moment just long enough to make a decision in, Albino Pirate forgot all about going home — right away, at least. With the basket in one arm and Polly in the other, he began making his way to the ground. Maybe he was going to have an adventure after all... **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel kind of bad giving you guys a chapter where not much actually happens. But I think the next one will be better, or at least more interesting. Who wants to join me in finding out what happens when I put actual effort into an OC? :D


	3. Chapter 3

"Only another minute. For goodness sakes, girls, _hold still."_

Jennifer stiffened further, attempting in vain to quell the quivering of her hands. Her fingers ached as her eyes darted between the camera and the offending sight. It was only an inch or two away...perhaps she could smooth it without them noticing **—**

"That should be enough," her uncle said.

Beatrice's false smile vanished in an instant as she rose from her place on the sofa, dropping the paper flowers she had been made to hold and making a beeline for the parlor door.

"Oh, no you don't!" Jennifer shrieked as she leapt up, snatching her little sister with one hand and trying to grab the daguerreotype with the other. "We have to make another one!"

Her uncle gave her a look. "Why not?"

"There was a wrinkle!" she exclaimed, gesturing to the skirt of her lacy, flowing white gown. "It wouldn't do to send it to Father."

"He'll hardly notice it, Jennifer."

She sat down on the sofa, crossed her arms and began to pout.

"Very well..."

Beatrice returned to looking sullen while Jennifer smirked.

"...this evening. I have to go out to the work site."

"What am I supposed to do until _then?"_

"You promised we'd go on a picnic today," Beatrice answered.

"When did I — " **  
**

"Magnificent! I'll let you two take care of it."

"Uncle, you can't be serious...!"

He was already leaving, however, waving a hand as though brushing the problem away.

Sinking back in the sofa, Jennifer glared at Beatrice. _"Liar."_

The seven year-old stared back, apathy in her dull gray eyes.

Jennifer rose with a sigh. "We'll go through town." It would give her pleasure to show off her new dress.

* * *

_My Dear Father,_

_I am counting the days until summer ends. Never have I wished more to be back at boarding school than I do now. Life in the Territory suits me not. No visitors, only the barest of amenities and the locals are **ever** so unpleasant. With all due respect, I do not think it shall ever be civilized, even once your railroad is complete._

_Beatrice remains ill-tempered, and Uncle Phineas has very little time for us. Have you any inkling of when Congress shall conclude its business? Write to me of what you know, and send for us as soon as you return to New York. Or better yet, come to take us home yourself; I miss you terribly._

_We have received the dresses you sent us, and I am most happy with mine. Do you think I should wear it at my debutante ball this winter? I should very much like to._

_Beatrice and I send our love, and we hope to hear from you soon._

_Your Dutiful Daughter,_

_Jennifer_

* * *

"What do you think that is, Jenny?"

"Hmm?"

"That," Beatrice said, pointing at a blue something rustling in one of the grass patches.

"Yes, yes, of course," Jennifer answered, not looking up from her letter.

Beatrice regarded her for a moment, and then left her sitting on the blanket amidst the blanket and empty plates.

The creature squawked and ran from one patch to another when she approached it — a bird, to be sure, but a most unusual one. Its wings looked too little for its body. _Can it fly?_ Beatrice wondered as she came near again.

Evidently not, for it ran off across the plain as fast as its legs could carry it. She rushed after it, her reddish-brown curls bouncing up and down.

The bird kicked up a trail of dust as it ran, sliding down a gentle slope into a labyrinthine cluster of red rocks. Beatrice weaved her way through the crevices, following the sound of its squawks. "I'm not going to hurt you!" she called out after it. "Do stop!"

Squeezing through a narrow crevice, she stumbled out into the open to find that the bird had indeed halted. It regarded her with wide eyes as it inched backwards, ready to bolt at the slightest hint of aggression.

_I think I've seen it before,_ she thought. _In my history book._

Ruffling its feathers, it moved away from her again — this time, however, at a mere trot. She pursued it at a distance, watching it walk to a stout little hill with a hole in the side. As it continued to squawk, Beatrice's eye fell upon the ring of stones outside the opening of the cave, and the timid fire smoldering within it.

_"There_ you are, Polly! Whatever have you been up to?"

Beatrice jumped back with a scream as a ghastly-looking being emerged from the cave. Perhaps it was a ghost; his skin was of a deathly pallor, he was dressed in rags and his eyes were red as a demon's. She froze where she stood, eyes wide and hands over mouth.

The stranger backed up in surprise upon seeing her, but he soon calmed himself. "Oh, hello," he said, smiling. "Have you made friends with Polly?"

She didn't move, far too frightened to answer and far too fascinated to flee.

"I don't bite," he said, his grin persisting. "Not most of the time."

Taking a few steps forward, Beatrice reached out a hand and tapped him. "...You're _real."_

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You look strange. Like a ghost."

"Oh, no, ghosts are different. You can see through them."

"And you sound funny."

"Well, so do you."

"And your bird is strange."

At this he seemed to take offense. "Polly's not strange! She's special. She's a dodo."

_"Really?"_ Beatrice exclaimed, the word escaping her mouth before she could stop it.

"The last one there is," said the stranger. "But you mustn't tell! It's a secret!"

"Why?"

"Because someone might take her away from the captain again, of course."

"Who's the captain?"

He looked surprised. "Why, the Pirate Captain! Haven't you heard of him? He's the greatest terror of the seas there's ever been! I imagine he's around here looking for me. I'm part of his crew, you see. I'm the Albino Pirate. What's your name?"

"...Beatrice." Her fear was fading away, and more curiosity was taking its place. "There can't be pirates here. Pirates sail around in ships."

_"Our_ ship can sail on land," Albino Pirate said with pride. "Captain fixed it to do that so he could come here looking for gold. He's going to win the Pirate of the Year Award! That's what they give to the pirate who has the most treasure..."

He continued to ramble, and Beatrice hung to his every word.

* * *

_"Beatrice!_ Beatrice, come back here _this instant!_ You're going to ruin your dress!"

Picking up her skirts, Jennifer hauled herself up yet another hill and halfheartedly scanned her surroundings for a sign of her sister. _It wouldn't be that surprising if she didn't come back...or unpleasant..._

"Hello!"

She whipped around only to find herself staring into a pair of red eyes, and she lost her footing as she cried out. The Albino Pirate, Beatrice and Polly watched as she tumbled screaming down the hill and landed face first in a puddle of mud. She slowly pushed herself up, spitting out the thick mixture and staring in horror at her ruined dress. "...You...you..."

"You must be Jenny," Albino Pirate said as he hurried down and tried to brush her off. "Your sister said you'd be here. My name's Albino Pirate."

Jennifer pushed his hand away. "Beatrice," she said with barely concealed rage, "what is this _thing_ and why didn't you leave it where you found it?"

"He's a person," Beatrice answered. "He's looking for his pirate friends."

"Well, they certainly aren't anywhere around here!" Jennifer said as she grabbed Beatrice's arm and began to drag her away. "Ugh, I have to walk through _town_ in this state, and it's all your fault..."

Albino Pirate followed them. "What town?"

"The town we live next to," Beatrice said, pulling away from Jennifer and going back to him. "You would like it, I think."

"Is it far?"

"Yes — "

"Only a few minutes' walk," said Beatrice. "I'll show you." Albino Pirate and Polly followed her as she walked off.

Jennifer's face began to turn red. "They won't like you!" she finally yelled after them. "They don't like anyone! Certainly not _freaks!"_

Albino Pirate looked at the ground. "She's only joking, isn't she?"

"Don't worry," said Beatrice, coming close to managing an actual smile. "No one really listens to her, anyway."

They headed back towards the remains of the picnic, Jennifer giving them a death glare all the way.


	4. Chapter 4

**BLUE MUD,** the rotting wooden signpost read. **POPULATION: 100-ISH.** Beyond that, two rows of buildings rose out of the dirt. Some had been painted once, but you couldn't have told if not for the peeling patches that remained. The water tower creaked and rocked slightly under the force of the light breeze. Locks ran up and down the front doors of the bank. One of the saloon doors was missing, and the other had rusted away from its top hinge. From within, the flat notes of a lifeless piano waltz drifted out into the street. People would stop and listen with blank stares until the music was cut short by a "Shut up!" and the angry tinkle of breaking glass, after which they would droop their heads and shuffle on. Through one of the many busted windows came the whistling of the undertaker as he polished his coffins.

At the edge of town stood a wagon packed to its gills and hooked to a pair of thin oxen. The children sat atop the mass of furniture, watching as their parents checked the wheels and climbed onto the drivers' bench. They were off with a flick of the reins, plowing up the grayish-blue earth beneath the brown as they rolled out of sight.

Sheriff Hedley sat in the rocking chair on his porch and watched them go from beneath the brim of his brown hat. He watched everything, for there was little else he could do. He was wrinkled and a little portly, with shaggy gray hair and an equally gray mustache that drooped down about his lips. There was a sullen glare in his right eye and a black eyepatch over the socket where the left one had been.

"It's a pity," said Phineas, who sat beside him. "All this work and we're going to end up with a railroad that goes to a ghost town. You know, James, I've half a mind to put up someone against you in the next election."

Taking his cigar out of his mouth, Sheriff Hedley turned to his companion and blew a ring of smoke in his face. "You keep to your end of business, Mr. Winters," he drawled, "an' I'll keep to mine."

Coughing, Phineas shot him a cold look and returned to watching the townspeople. All of a sudden, something caught his eye. He grew tense as he stood up and looked down the road with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. _"Jennifer!"_ he shrieked. "What on earth _happened?"_

Sheriff Hedley jerked to attention and looked in the same direction, only to lean back with a snort as he saw the real problem. Phineas's niece was stomping towards them, her dress caked in drying mud and its hem dragging in the dirt. "Don't shout," he said. "Y'all gonna make everyone think it's somethin' serious."

Meanwhile, Albino Pirate and Beatrice were far behind her. The former flitted about in wonder, darting towards whatever happened to catch his eye. "Ahoy!" he chirped to the people he passed. They responded with confused and vaguely revolted stares, and woman backed away when he held out his hand in greeting. "What was that for?" he asked Beatrice, his smile shrinking a bit.

"She just hasn't seen anyone like you before, I suppose..."

"Oh, I see!" he answered. "Captain _did_ say we were the first pirates to come here."

"Beatrice!" Jennifer screamed at them from across the street. "Bring those creatures here at once!"

Beatrice hesitated, but Albino Pirate picked up Polly and went to her. "Are these friends of yours?" he asked, staring up at the two men.

Phineas wrinkled his nose at the sight. "I take it that _this_ is what you were speaking of, Jennifer?"

"Yes," she answered. "Sheriff, this scoundrel has ruined my day. Punish it at once."

The sheriff's bushy eyebrows raised as he studied Albino Pirate. "Strange colorin' you got there, boy. Where you been lately? Sun bleach ya?"

"No, sir. The Pirate With A Scarf says it's quite natural. I'm the Albino Pirate, by the way. Are you a pirate, too?"

"Hmm?"

"You've got an eyepatch!"

The glare in Sheriff Hedley's remaining eye grew more sullen. "Why are you here, boy?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Well, my friends and I came here to look for gold, but then Polly and I got left on the boat and a storm came along so we hid in the lifeboat and the lifeboat broke off and landed in the river and the river carried us off to a lake and next to that lake was the wagon where I found my hat and boots and then we found this big desert and we went exploring and found a cave and then Polly went exploring by herself and brought back Miss Beatrice and Miss Beatrice showed me to Miss Jenny **—** " **  
**

_"Jennifer."_

"Miss Beatrice showed me to Miss Jennifer and then she said I ought to come see the town so here I am!" He finally stopped for a breath, his broad grin not having faded in the least.

Phineas leaned over to the sheriff. _"They_ sent him, I'm sure of it," he whispered. "Don't you think so?"

_He ain't from 'round here,_ the sheriff thought. _Too happy._

"Well?"

Sheriff Hedley cleared his throat. "Now see here, boy, we've been havin' a whole mess of trouble 'round these parts lately. Can't let just anyone in. So Mr. Winters here thinks I should keep you here until we figure out what to do with — "

A loud rattling rose up from somewhere behind the row of buildings, and the sheriff's words were drowned out by a shrill whistle and a deafening **BOOM** that shook the ground and nearly toppled the water tower. The people on the street screamed and ran for cover, but Sheriff Hedley only sighed. "Not again..."

* * *

Thick, black smoke was pouring from between the cracks of the old wooden barn on the outskirts of town. Half the roof was sagging, and the whole thing rumbled with the sound of churning pistons. A faded, neatly-printed sign had been nailed to the door — _ **Residence of**_ **_Dr. Heinrich Wechsler, Contraptionist._** Next to that was an equally faded but much less dignified notice; **DANGER. STAY AWAY BY ORDER OF SHERIFF.**

Sheriff Hedley blew past the sign and into the barn, followed by Phineas and the children. "Doc!" he yelled over the racket, coughing from the smoke. "Doc, git over here!"

A voice rang out from the haze. _"Nur einen Augenblick!"_ With a hiss, the pistons slowed and fell silent. The roof creaked as part of it slid inwards to form a skylight. As the smoke rose up and traveled outside, the interior of the barn cleared up and revealed itself to be a cluttered mess. Tables were scattered across the floor, overflowing with various objects. Hammers, screwdrivers, springs, nuts and bolts, gears, microscopes, magnifying glasses, twisted flasks that sat on burners and held bubbling multicolored liquid, piles of rusty scrap formed into bizarre shapes and gadgets. Drawings were tacked up like wallpaper, some huge; from them sprang images of airships, palaces of glass, people made of metal with light bulbs for eyes, gigantic balloons holding up cities...and some were just doodles.

In the center of the floor was a large platform, and on that platform sat a something — that was the only proper word for it. A frame of iron with four wheels attached held it up, a sofa was placed atop this and the whole contraption was surrounded by a shell of welded metal. It faintly resembled a wagon in some places, but there was no place to harness the animals. Instead, another block of iron spewing pipes and pistons jutted out from the back. One especially thin pipe curved around the side of the machine and attached to a steam whistle stuck on the side.

The roof slid back into place, and the voice reappeared. "It verks! It verks!" It belonged to a wiry, little old man standing in the hayloft, his hand on a lever in the wall. His messy hair and neatly trimmed beard and mustache were equally gray, his suit was a shabby brown and a pair of spectacles with thick lenses balanced on the tip of his nose. Sliding down the ladder, he stumbled through the clutter to his visitors. "You haf come to see it, yes? Or do you require somesink fixed?"

Sheriff Hedley rolled his eyes. "Doc, the people here got enough reasons to be scared already. You said you were gonna lay low."

"I haf! But allowances _must_ be made for strokes of inshpiration!" Dr. Wechsler answered, gesturing to the machine on the platform. "It came to me last night; zee image of a karriage vithout zee need of horses to pull it! Its power is contained vithin, and it moves of its own accord! Is zee thought not _vonderful?"_

"I don't believe you," Phineas said with a sneer. "It looks more like some sort of explosive. Where was that noise coming from?"

"Oh, zat vas only zee vhistle," Wechsler said as he tapped the object in question. "No matter vat I do, zee engine overloads venever I blow it. Here, I vill demonstrate — "

"You already did, Doc."

"...Why don't you just not use a whistle, then?"

"Vat did you say?" Dr. Wechsler demanded, his neck swiveling about in search of the voice.

Albino Pirate rose up from behind the vehicle. "Maybe you could use a bell instead, sir. They're very loud, and you wouldn't need your engine to use it!"

"Don't help him, boy!" Phineas snapped, but it was too late.

_"Goen!"_ the inventor exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Vy did I not sink of it in zee first place? How did you sink of it, _Kind?"_

Albino Pirate shrugged. "It reminds me of the engine that makes our boat go on land. Captain says we shouldn't make it too tired or it wouldn't work anymore."

Wechsler's eyes bugged out. "You haf a boat zat _sails on land?"_

"The captain does, and I'm part of his crew, so I suppose I do."

"Do tell me of it!"

"Well, there's an engine like yours belowdecks that hooked up to these wheels, and when you press a button, the wheels come out the bottom and when you press another button..."

Wechsler grabbed some paper and pencils and started to scribble, while Phineas and Jennifer grabbed Beatrice and slowly backed towards the barn door. Sheriff Hedley stayed where he was, watching the boy and the contraptionist chatter on. "Say, Doc?" he asked. "Weren't you goin' on 'bout wantin' a helper? 'Cause this boy here...what was your name?"

"Albino Pirate."

"He's lost his folks, y'see, an' he needs someplace to stay awhile. You ain't too busy, so...?"

_"James!"_

Wechsler looked the boy over. "Vat can you do vell, _Kind?"_

"I can swab and fetch things, and Captain says I'm a source of morale. Whatever that means. Might I be allowed to keep Polly?" he added, picking up the dodo.

"Of course you may! Let us see, vee shall haf to make some room in zee loft..."

"I'll leave y'all to it, then," Sheriff Hedley said. He saw that the Winters clan had already fled when he turned around, and for the first time that day, he cracked a smile.

* * *

"Two undesirables!" Phineas muttered under his breath as the trio trudged up the path to their mansion on the hill. "And under the same roof...!"

"I think it's nice," said Beatrice.

Phineas grabbed her ear and pulled her along by it. "You're not to see him again. Either of you."

"Do as Uncle says, Beatrice," Jennifer said. Rage was quietly stewing within her as she looked down at her dress again. _Father will be hearing about this in **great** detail._


	5. Chapter 5

_Eeeeeeeeee._

The branch sagged under the Pirate Captain's weight, creaking out its displeasure with him. When he tried to move, it only _eeee_ d louder and cracked a bit. "Do you see anything, Number Two?" he yelled to the upper level of the tree as he attempted to steady himself.

"Not yet, sir!" his first mate answered.

Sighing, he raised his spyglass back up to his eye and kept looking down the river. Perhaps the lifeboat had run aground? If not, exactly how far did this thing go? And what the devil was taking the others so long with the boat?

"Captain? Captain, are you up there?"

He cast his eyes downwards, where Charles and the rest of the crew were staring back at him. Most were out of breath, and they all had dirt-covered boots and drooping shoulders.

"Ah, there you are!" he exclaimed. "I want some good news out of you, Chuck!"

Charles was quiet for a moment. "Er...well...in that case, we've certainly made _progress_ on freeing the boat!"

"Meanin' that we've moved it about an inch," Emma added.

**_Eeeeeeeee._ **

"Oh, for the love of **—** " **  
**

"Captain!" the Pirate With A Scarf shouted. "I've found something!"

"What is it?"

"Looks like we'll hit a lake if we follow the river five more miles. There's a lifeboat on the shore!"

The captain jumped at a branch overhead, trying to climb up. "Is there anything else?"

"Hold on...I-I think I can see him, sir!"

"Wait there, I'm — " **  
**

_**EEEEEEEEEE!** _

With a final screech, the branch snapped and sent the Pirate Captain plummeting to earth. He collided with several more boughs before landing flat on his back with a beard full of leaves and the breath knocked out of his lungs. "I'm alright!" he said, jumping up as the others crowded around him. "No time to worry about me anyway! Number Two's found them!" With no further explanation needed, he sprinted off down the river while the others followed close behind.

Up in the treetops, the Pirate With A Scarf had his spyglass trained on a closer section of the river. _What on earth are **those?** _

"Captain?" he said as he climbed down the tree. "Captain, there's something else out there...!"

* * *

The group was approaching a bend in the river when the Pirate With A Scarf finally caught up to them. "How far did you say it was, Number Two?" the captain asked.

"A few miles, but — "

"Perfect! he answered, leading them around the curve. "Wouldn't know what I'd do without... _Neptune's femur!"_

Fording the river and blocking the path was a herd of the strangest animals he had ever laid eyes on. Giant, bulky cow-like creatures with stubby horns and shaggy brown hair, plodding along in a straight line with no acknowledgement of their fellow travelers.

Looking back, the captain noted that most of his crew was as befuddled as he. "Ah...everything's under control!" he told them. "It's only some...er..."

"Bison," Charles said.

"Exactly what I was about to say! Nothing to be frightened of. The thing to do is wait them out."

"Captain, they're known to move in rather large herds..."

"We'll see. They can't be _terribly_ large, can they?"

* * *

**-Several Hours Later-**

* * *

" _..._ Okay, perhaps they can." _  
_

The sun was now quite high in the sky, and the line of bison still persisted with no sign of thinning out. The pirates were lying about in various forms of listlessness, and the captain was wearing a rut into the ground as he paced and muttered. There had to be _some_ way of getting them to hurry up.

_You certainly don't fright easily,_ he thought as he observed the procession. Roaring had done nothing. Gunshots might have worked if he'd been able to remember where in his beard the gun was. Perhaps something equally loud?

After a bit of rummaging through his beard, he pulled out an air horn. Raising it over his head, he pressed the button as hard as he could.

The pirates bolted upright screaming and ducked as the bison scattered in all directions, some jumping right over their heads. In a matter of seconds, they had all vanished into the forest.

The captain laughed. "Now why didn't I think of that before?"

**MY. T** **HOUGHTS. EXACTLY.**

"Well, come on!" he commanded, crossing the trail of hoof tracks and continuing down towards the lake. "They're probably wondering what's taken us so long by now!"

They staggered to their feet and trudged after him. The Pirate With A Scarf was the last to follow, shaking his head and looking at the ground. _You know what he's like, Captain._

As their footsteps faded away, a big, shaggy head poked its head out of the shadows and stared after them. It had to find out what that noise was.

* * *

It was noon by the time they finally stumbled onto the shores of the lake. Their lifeboat was still there, but all that remained of their lad was a trail of little footprints. Up the rocks and across the grass they went, ending at an abandoned covered wagon.

"Quite a sight, isn't it, Albino Pirate?" the captain said as he stepped inside. "Plenty more to do, so come out now."

The only sound came from the wind chimes tied to a beam.

"Now I know you like hide and seek, but it's time to be on our way." Noticing a barrel with a cracked lid, he pulled it open. "Found you!"

Empty.

The Pirate With A Scarf came up behind him. "Captain..."

"You said you saw him."

"Captain, that was hours ago."

"He doesn't wonder off at just anything!"

The Pirate With Gout, meanwhile, had been examining the ground. "More tracks, Cap'n!" he exclaimed.

They were bootprints now, but the size was still the same. They led away from the wagon and onto a ledge in the corner of the clearing, following a set of bird tracks. The others were already there, peering over the edges.

"See what I mean?" the captain said, his smile returning as they joined the rest of the crew. "It has to be something interesting — this is something interesting and not horrible, isn't it?"

"...Little bit o' both..."

Their jaws all dropped at the sight of the endless plain which spread out below them, and at the bootprints venturing down into it. The ground might as well have opened up and swallowed their lad.

"You're not going to just stand there and fret, are you?" the Pirate Captain said. "We still have his tracks!"

His words had barely left his mouth when a wind picked up and, as though Neptune himself was reveling in their distress, began to blow the marks away before their eyes.

The corners of the captain's smile twitched violently, but the smile itself remained. "Alright...I suppose we should get on it, then."

"But how are we supposed to start?"

"We won't get far without the boat, now will we?"

* * *

The wheels of the boat had sunk back into the mud an inch, maybe a little bit more. The pirates came close to collapsing at the sight of it either way.

"Oh, could be worse," the captain said, putting on a smirk of authority. "Didn't you use the ropes?"

"That was Plan A," Charles answered as he gestured to the mud-drenched ropes that still hung from the stern.

The smirk drooped and vanished. "Did you stick a plank under it?"

"Plan B."

"Did you push it...?"

_"Captain."_

"Right, forgetting that. The _real_ problem," he continued, "is the lack of proper force..."

The other crew members were all looking at something behind their captain. "Sir?" the Pirate With A Scarf said, a less than subtle tone of urgency in his voice.

"You have something?"

"Sir, I think you should turn around _very, very slowly."_

The captain spun about on his heel. Not much of an... _AAAAAHHHH!"_ He jumped up a foot and scurried backwards, for centimeters — nay, _millimeters_ **—** from his face was the largest bison he had ever seen. "Chuck?" he squeaked. "You were around horses at Cambridge or something, weren't you?"

"Captain, that isn't a horse."

"Well, aren't they similar enough?"

The bison cocked its head and continued to stare them. Taking a step towards the Pirate Captain, it sniffed his beard and then his hat.

"Go on!" the captain told it. "There isn't anything in there for you."

The bison evidently thought differently, for it leaned forward, plucked the captain's had right off his head and began to chew upon it.

"No no no no no! You give that back _right now!"_ he yelled, grabbing the other end of his tricorn. They tugged each back and forth over it until the captain finally managed to yank it from the creature's mouth. What remained of it, anyway; half of it had been ground into a wet, black pulp.

The other pirates weren't sure whether to be more worried about their captain or the animal. "We...we saved you a spare, sir," said the Pirate With A Scarf after a few moments. "We can find it after we've gotten the wheels out."

"Oh, _what's the point of the wheels?"_ the Pirate Captain snapped. "What's the point of _anything_ today? Is there just some sort of law that the universe simply can't survive if something I plan actually _**works for once? WELL?!"**  
_

The bison started at the outburst and drew back. Had he angered the owner of the noisemaker? Perhaps it had something to do with the great brown thing which he and his fellow strange creatures had been observing. It had surely been there a long time, for there was grass growing off one end. Long, pale and _delicious-looking_ grass.

Lumbering past the now-preoccupied pirates, he made his way towards the ropes.

"Sir, this isn't productive," the Pirate With A Scarf said as the captain began to stomp around in a circle and mutter under his breath. "We need to go looking for Albino Pirate. He'd do the same for us, wouldn't he?"

"He'd say we're at the part where things only _look_ bad fer a bit," the Pirate With Gout added.

The captain abruptly stopped. "You mean like that?" he asked, pointing at the boat.

They turned to look back and froze. The vessel was being jerked from the mud a foot at a time by the bison, which was pulling on the ropes as hard as it could.

"...Yes. Rather like that."

Snorting with exhaustion, the bison spit out the strange grass. Far too tough for his tastes. Where had that chewy black object gotten off to?

As if summoned, it suddenly landed at his feet. "You can have the rest!" the Pirate Captain exclaimed as he rushed up the gangplank with his crew in tow.

The ramp was pulled back up, and it wasn't long before the grumbling of the engine was emanating from the ship's hull. The wheels kicked up mud as they began to spin, but they soon found solid ground. The boat lurched forward with a roar and rolled off, cutting a swath through the forest as it went.

The bison watched it go. What incredible things these creatures had in their possession! And what interesting food...

Picking up the hat in his teeth, he gnawed on it with content as he plodded after the boat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't expecting that to take so long. Totally worth it, though.
> 
> It'll probably be a while before the next chapter goes up, so I'm just gonna say this now; June 10th is the first anniversary of my little writing endeavor here, and I just want to thank all the old sports who've stuck it out with me so far. You guys are awesome. :)
> 
> See ya!


	6. Chapter 6

_My Dear Father,_

_I must preface this letter by saying that I had previously hoped our situation here would improve. I now see the folly in such thoughts._

_I am very unhappy for several reasons, foremost being that the dress you sent me is ruined. The blame for this falls on Beatrice and the unsavory creature she found in the wilderness; a grotesque albino boy utterly lacking in manners and intelligence. Sheriff Hedley should have locked him up when he had the opportunity. Instead, he is now residing with the doctor from Cologne that I wrote to you of. Uncle has forbidden Beatrice and I from conversing with them, but I suspect that she is sneaking off to pay them visits anyway.  
_

_Father, their combined idiocy will surely destroy all of your hard work. The sights and sounds which pour from that barn every day are insufferable —_

As if summoned, a **BOOM** shook the timbers of the house as the townspeople's screams drifted in through the open window.

Jennifer crumpled up the letter. _How on earth are they not dead yet?_ she wondered as she stuck her head outside to see purple smoke seeping out through every crack in the barn. "Uncle, they're at it again!"

She heard no cry for one of the servants to investigate the matter, not even a "Oh, _fine,_ I'll see to it myself!" When she went up to his study, she found only a hastily scribbled note lying on the desk.

_Gone to work site. Urgent matter. Will not be back for a few days._

"Oh, _perfect..."_

* * *

The barn door was ajar, and she pushed it open without a knock. "Whatever you're doing, stop it at once!"

As the haze cleared, she saw Albino Pirate and Wechsler standing around a table staring at a beaker, from which the smoke was pouring forth. "And zat," Wechsler was saying, "is vy you never add vater to acid."

The boy was transfixed. "I had no idea!"

"Didn't you two hear me?"

The Albino Pirate looked up. "Morning, Miss Jenny! Isn't this fascinating?"

"It's probably poisonous."

_"_ _Unsinn!"_ Wechsler exclaimed. "I hafe done zis many times! Do I appear unvell?"

Jennifer had stopped listening. Her gaze was focused on a set of familiar brown curls peeping out from behind a barrel. "...Come out here."

Beatrice stepped into the open, trembling a bit but returning her sister's stare. "I just came to say hello _—_ " _  
_

She yelped as Jennifer grabbed her by the ear and dragged her towards the door. "What did Uncle Phineas tell you?"

"Uncle Phineas says that about everyone who's different!"

"Well, maybe that's because he has a point. Now I don't want to find that you've been here again. Go play in town if you must, it's far safer _—_ " _  
_

Her words were cut off by a shrill, piercing scream. "They're coming!" a woman was yelling. _"They're coming!"_

"But nothing's been fixed yet!"

"They'll tear it all down!"

"We'll be dragged into the street and shot!"

"Awright, everyone _settle down!"_ Sheriff Hedley's voice rang out above the rising hysteria. "Git inside 'fore they see y'all! An' hurry!"

"Is there something wrong?" Albino Pirate asked.

Wechsler climbed into the hayloft, flipped up a lever that protruded from the wall and watched as one of the skylights slid open. "Let's hafe a look, shall vee?"

The barn was about as high as the rest of the buildings, and its steep roof was just high enough to allow a good view over the flat ones of town. Emerging from the hole he had made, Wechsler grabbed the metal loops welded to the shingles and crawled to the top. Albino Pirate came next, then Beatrice, then the struggling Jennifer. "If I fall off this and survive," she muttered, "I'll have you both hanged..."

"Hush, girl!" said Wechsler, who was focused on the scene below. The people of Blue Mud were fleeing into whatever building they happened to be nearest. Doors were locked, curtains were drawn shut and the children who peeked out the windows were pulled back inside by their parents. In a matter of seconds, the street was devoid of souls and an eerie silence had fallen over the town.

"I don't understand," said Albino Pirate. "What are they hiding from?"

Jennifer pointed to the horizon. "That, I should think."

A large cloud of dust was moving in from the east. As it came closer to them, the blurred shadows of many men on horseback materialized within it. Bursting from the cloud, they rode into town, whooping and firing their guns into the air. They all had shabby clothes, stringy hair and wicked smiles missing several teeth upon their stubble-covered faces. Up and down the street they trotted for what felt like forever; they shot at windows, tossed rocks through walls, ripped up boards from the skeleton of an unfinished building and dragged them through the dirt. "What y'all hidin' fer?" they jeered at the people huddled inside.

One especially mangy creature parked himself in front of the sheriff's office. "Ah know y'all is in there, Hedley!" he shouted. "Why don't y'all come out an' shoot me, sheriff? Ah promise Ah'll draw a bit slower this time!" He and his companions threw back their heads and laughed like hyenas. "Ah reckon we's about done here, boys!" he proclaimed after surveying the new property damage. "Let's git!"

Cracking their reins, the scoundrels galloped laughing out of town and vanished into another cloud of dust that carried them back over the horizon.

For a minute, the silence which had preceded the attack fell once more. Then the door of the sheriff's office creaked as Hedley pushed it open and stepped onto the porch, a shotgun in hand. "Y'all can come out now," he said. "They're gone."

One by one, the townsfolk stumbled back into the open. Some were examining the destruction, some were whispering prayers, and others were just staring into the distance.

The quartet remained on the roof, their eyes still glued to the scene. Jennifer was the first to leave, crawling back down the rungs with her face scrunched up in anger.

"Where are you going?" Beatrice asked.

"To have an overdue conversation with the sheriff."

* * *

Hedley's shrill whistle snapped the people from their stupor. "Everyone alright?" he asked as they gathered around his porch.

"Yes, sir."

"Where's the damage?"

"Mostly on the station, sir."

"You said they wouldn't come fer at least another week, Sheriff!" one woman exclaimed.

"Settle down," said Hedley. "Now I want y'all in the church fer a meetin' at nine tomorrow. That sound alright?"

A few snatches of grumbling rose up from the crowd, but they nodded and gradually scattered.

Sighing, Hedley sank into his chair and began removing the shells from his gun. "Next time, Jackson..."

"How long has this been going on?"

He looked up to see Jennifer standing on his steps with clenched fists and a red face. "I didn't think you cared, Princess," he snorted.

"Well, _someone_ should! Do you have any idea how much this project means to my family? And you're just going to mess it all up by doing nothing!"

"Don't y'all start preachin' to me, girl," Hedley said coldly as he stood up. "You ain't got a clue 'bout what's goin' on down here."

"I aim to." Turning up her nose, Jennifer flounced off down the street. "And when I have," she shouted back, "my father will hear all about it!"

Hedley glared at her until she disappeared, then started to go back into his office.

"...Mister Sheriff?"

"What do y'all want _now?"_ he snapped, whipping back around.

It was only Albino Pirate, who shrank back in shock at his outburst. "I'm sorry."

"...You didn't do nothin' wrong. S'pose you got a few questions."

He nodded. "Who was the man yelling at you, sir?"

The muscles of Hedley's face tightened, and his empty eye socket began to ache. "That," he said after a few moments of silence, "is a man they call Yeller-Eyes Jackson. Bandit by trade, 'long with the good-fer-nothins he bosses around."

"What do they want?"

"They think this end o' the territory's theirs alone, far as I can tell. Ain't bright enough to just move."

"Why hasn't anyone stopped them, then? You seem like you can!"

Hedley fell silent again. "I could've once..."

"What does that mean?"

"...It ain't fer a boy's ears." He looked Albino Pirate right in the eyes. "Listen. I don't want you to get hurt. If yer smart, you an' Doc'll finish up that machine an' git outta here while there's still time. Understand? Now run along."

Confused and trembling a bit, Albino Pirate gave him a quick "Yes, sir" before scurrying down the steps and back towards Wechsler's barn.

Sitting back down, Hedley resumed tending to his shotgun. _Nice kid._

* * *

"It can't be as bad as he made it sound...right, Polly?" Leaning back on his cot in the hayloft, Albino Pirate stared up through an open roof panel at the starry sky. He tried searching for a familiar constellation, but nothing appeared. "Nothing's ever as bad as it sounds," he told Polly as he stroked her feathers. At least, he certainly hoped so.

The sheriff had been very grave about the whole situation, and the thought of those men still frightened him. What had they done that was too horrible to even speak of?

"...They weren't as scary as Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz can be, though," he said to himself. "And I bet my face that they aren't half as clever as the captain!" Come to think of it, any proper pirate would find them no trouble at all. They would just swing down on the men, run them through and blast them to bits before they had the faintest idea of what was going on _—  
_

_That's it!_


	7. Chapter 7

"Mr. Hedley! Are you up yet?"

Hedley woke up with a start, falling out of his desk chair and banging his head on the office floor. "Who's there?" he demanded as he stumbled to his feet and rubbed his eyes.

"It's only me, sir." The Albino Pirate was standing in the doorway with Polly on his shoulder and a grin plastered on his face.

"...What time is it, boy?"

"Seven thirty. The captain says one ought to get up as soon as sunrise starts, but I suppose it's alright for you to sleep in a bit because yesterday was so troubling and you've got such a long day ahead of you and you've been _ever_ so kind to me since I arrived so I want to help out around here **—** " **  
**

"Just tell me what you want."

"Sir, I have a plan for stopping those bandits."

The sheriff rolled his eyes. "Sure you do."

"I wouldn't lie about a matter that grave, sir," Albino Pirate answered. "It wouldn't be proper."

Hedley looked him over. There had to be _some_ signal that the boy was lying.

"Is there something wrong?" Albino Pirate asked, his smile fading slightly. "I haven't come too early, have I?"

"Just need to wake up..."

They both flinched as the front door slammed open. In marched Jennifer, holding an envelope and looking very proud of herself. "Do you see this, Mr. Hedley?" she said, brandishing it in the sheriff's face. "It's a letter to Father."

"So?"

"It's going to tell him everything that's been going on here and how his work is being destroyed! When he gets it, he'll arrange for someone competent to replace you."

Albino Pirate frowned. "That isn't very nice, Miss Jenny."

"No one cares what _you_ think."

Hedley coughed loudly while giving the girl a dark look. "Don't you have your uncle to talk at for this sort of thing?"

"He's still gone. I will, though, and I'll show it at the meeting!"

"Y'all do that, Princess." The sheriff's expression softened as he returned his attention to Albino Pirate. "That goes for you too, boy. Alright?"

"Yes, sir," Albino Pirate said, smiling again. "Thank you!" With a tip of his hat, he hurried out the door.

Jennifer raised an eyebrow as she watched him go. "You're not honestly going to let him talk, are you?"

"You got a problem with that?"

Drawing back, Jennifer brandished the letter one last time as she flounced out the door. Hedley locked it behind her before picking his chair back up, sitting down and making a mental note to add "have Miss Winters put in her place" to his to-do list.

* * *

"Order! Order!" Hedley shouted, pounding his fist on the chapel pulpit. "Quit yappin'!"

The dull roar of the gathered townspeople subsided into a scattering of low whispers. Good enough.

"Now I know most of you would rather not be here," he began. "But there ain't no reward in just givin' up."

"There isn't one in staying, either!" a man responded, standing up and turning to address the others. "Pretty soon they won't be satisfied with tearing down the buildings! They'll start shooting us in the head and trampling us into the ground! Need I mention what they'll do with the _women?"_

Several ladies screamed and fainted, the fearmonger was challenged and within a few seconds, the room was consumed by its former pandemonium and then some.

Hedley pounded the pulpit even harder. "Order! _Order!_ **_Shut yer faces!"_** He then pointed to his eyepatch. "Don't make me take this off!"

Everyone gasped, the women who had been resuscitated screamed and fainted again, and terrified silence swept over the group.

"...Thank you. Now listen **—** you're here so we can talk about plans. Anybody got one?" **  
**

A sea of hands rose up from the pews.

"Anybody got one that _don't_ involve runnin' off?"

All hands went down except two in the back row, one of them unnaturally pale.

"Y'all know that boy who's stayin' with the doc," Hedley continued. "He's got somethin' he wants to tell you 'bout."

Albino Pirate slowly withdrew his hand. "Now?" he asked, looking surprised and scared.

The sheriff nodded and beckoned. "Come on."

Keeping his eyes fixed to the floor, Albino Pirate walked down the aisle and took Hedley's place at the pulpit. "Hello, everyone...I'm the Albino Pirate..."

"Oh, just get it over with!" Jennifer snapped, and some of the others nodded in assent.

"...I've never spoken to lots of people like this before..."

Wechsler, who was standing just beyond the open doorway of the chapel with Beatrice at his side Polly at his feet, smiled and gave the boy a thumbs up.

"...but I'd like to try," he finished, smiling back and standing a little straighter. "Back where I come from, we all learn to do pirate things. Shooting cannons and fighting backwards up staircases and sliding down sails with a cutlass between your teeth, that sort of thing. We have a hideout called Blood Island, and no one's ever been able to attack it because it's got all kinds of defenses and we know how to fight off anyone who comes near. I know you're very frightened of those bandits, but I don't think they'd stand a chance against even one pirate! And the next time they come, we're going to have _plenty!"_

"What do you mean?" someone asked.

"I want to show you all how to fight like pirates!" Albino Pirate continued. "Dr. Wechsler can make weapons, and I'll teach you how to use them! The bandits will be so scared of you that they won't dare come near here ever again! Doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

He was answered with only several dozen frowns and not a single word.

"That's an... _interesting_ proposition, boy," Hedley finally answered. "You got Doc on board with it?"

_"Ja!"_ Wechsler answered.

Beatrice piped up. "I think it's a wonderful idea!"

Jennifer's jaw dropped. "How long have you...? Get back to the house at _once!"_ Storming up to the pulpit, she practically shoved Albino Pirate out from behind it and took his place. "Now I've heard plenty of hare-brained schemes before, but that has to be the most preposterous — " **  
**

Hedley glared at her. "Did I say you could talk, Miss Winters?"

"I think I have a more useful solution to this matter than he does!" She turned to the crowd. "I propose that we replace Sheriff Hedley and ask that my father arrange to have troops sent here to protect us. Are we all in favor?"

She too received only frowns and silence.

"Princess," Hedley said, "I think they just want to be done." He stepped in front of the pulpit. "Anyone object to Miss Winters' idea?"

"...It'd take a hundred years fer them folks back east to get anythin' done," a man said. "We ain't got that kind of time."

"So how many of y'all object to the boy's plan?"

The adults all began to grumble under their breaths, but they soon fell back into silence.

Hedley turned back to Albino Pirate. "You really serious 'bout this, boy?"

"Very much so, sir."

Motioning for Jennifer to step aside, Hedley took the pulpit again. "Listen up; seein' as we need to do somethin' and these two have the only ideas, I'm gonna let the boy have a month to do what he wants. If that don't work, we'll do what Miss Winters suggests."

"You can't leave those two to their own devices!" Jennifer said.

"Which is why I'm appointin' someone to help 'em out," the sheriff continued. A smirk crossed his face as he said, "You seem interested, Princess."

"That is _not_ what I — "

Hedley drowned her out by banging on the pulpit. "Meetin' adjourned!"

* * *

The townspeople filed out of the chapel and spread out towards the damaged buildings, some going to get lumber and toolboxes. Albino Pirate stood in the doorway and watched them go. He was just starting for the barn when a hand grabbed his arm and jerked him back around. "They know you aren't going to help things a bit," Jennifer hissed in his face. _"That's_ why they don't care."

"I really think it could work," he answered, backing away.

"To do _what?_ Waste everyone's time? I'll have no part in that!"

"...Alright, then. What are you going to do instead?"

"Write to Father, of course. When he hears how you're destroying his work, he'll fix this problem as soon as he can."

The Albino Pirate began to leave once more, but stopped and looked back. "You know," he said, "it seems to me that if you really want to fix a problem, you should do more than just write to someone miles away complaining about it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jennifer demanded. But the boy was already hurrying away.

_Ignorant little nuisance._ Sinking down onto the chapel steps, she let her eyes wander up and down the street. The people were clearing away the debris and bringing in new materials. Their movements were slow, almost mechanical, and their faces were tired. Some of them paused to stare at what remained of the frame of the train station before shaking their heads and moving on.

_They'll all give up before you come, Father,_ she thought. _Unless someone can make them stay._


	8. Chapter 8

_Observations on the appearance and behavior of_ _Bison bison_

_A social animal. Travels in herds. Ostensibly slow-moving but perfectly capable of achieving a gallop. Initially wary of us humans, especially our guns, but has adjusted to its new surroundings. Diet consists mainly of grass..._

Charles was jerked backwards as the bison clamped onto the edge of his coat and tried to pull off a piece. "Green doesn't equal edible!" he squeaked, tugging himself free. The creature snorted in his face and lumbered back towards the boat, contentedly chewing on one of his coattails.

_...and the occasional clothing receptacle._

* * *

"Here's the plan, lads," said the Pirate Captain as he spread out a map on his desk before his crew. "We'll scour this entire country if it comes down to that, and this is where we'll start!"

They leaned forward to get a better look. "The Oregon Trail," the Pirate With A Scarf read aloud. "Captain, I'm not so sure about this."

"Why not? Albino Pirate can't have missed it. Someone's most likely picked him up by now. It's just a matter of following the tracks until we catch up to him."

"Sir, there's a number of stories about — " **  
**

"You can't believe everything you hear, Number Two," said the captain. "Now come along! We're wasting daylight!"

The prairie ground rumbled as the engine was switched on, and the ship rolled away down a wide rut of wagon tracks while the bison galloped behind.

Standing in the crows' nest with a telescope in hand, the Pirate With A Scarf looked to the horizon. There they were, just as he had heard **—** a row of crude gravestones on each side of the road, stretching out as far as the eye could see.

* * *

"Alright, so we go ten miles south, then five miles east and..." The captain looked up from his map at the horse-shaped rock to his right. "...How the devil did we get this far north?"

Mr. Bobo pointed him towards a nearby circle of dusty covered wagons surrounded by people. _**Perhaps. They. Know.**_

"Worth a try," said the captain. Puffing himself up, he approached the caravan and picked out one of the men. "Ahoy!" he shouted, tipping his hat.

The man stared at him for a moment, then swayed and fell to the ground dead. His fellow travelers gasped and remained briefly frozen with horror before one of them pointed at the corpse and yelled _"DYSENTERY!"_

They screamed in unison, rushed to their wagons and were driving off like mad before the captain could finish saying "I'll take that as a no, then."

* * *

He knew very well that most of his ideas were of the sort that were perfectly serviceable only in his head. This one, the captain thought as he and the crew sprinted back towards the boat with guns in hand, _really_ should have made a red flag or twelve go up.

Behind them came a very large and very angry brown bear with red eyes and jagged yellow teeth that looked several inches and razor-sharp. The captain spun around and aimed his gun at the creature as it charged forward, roaring with fury. At this distance, it was impossible _not_ to get a shot this time **—**

The roar was drowned out by a deep bellowing as the bison shot out from his peripheral vision and barreled right into the bear's side, knocking it over. When it tried to get up and go after the pirates again, it received a kick in the face for its troubles. Staggering to its feet, it growled a bit before turning and loping off.

"Didn't I tell you coves he'd be useful?" the captain laughed. "Good job, Marvin."

"...Marvin?" asked the Pirate With Gout, saying what the rest of the crew was thinking.

"It stuck."

* * *

The river came out of nowhere and was wide enough to stretch out for what looked like quite some distance. "Which one is this, Number Two?" the captain asked his first mate.

"I can't seem to find on here, sir," the Pirate With A Scarf answered, fiddling with the map.

"Well, how deep is it?"

Emma pulled one of their ropes out of the river and examined the watermark. "Three feet, give or take an inch."

"Oh, let's just drive across. What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

And that was how the crew found itself with a ship lying on its side and a captain ready to start shooting steam from his ears. "How does that _work?"_ he yelled at no one in particular while keeping his eyes fixed on his boat. "How does that even _work? What kind of country **is** this?"_

"One with people, at least," said the Pirate With Gout, pointing his crutch at some forms on the horizon. Two men on horseback had appeared and were speeding towards them.

"Hello!" the Pirate With A Scarf called out. "You wouldn't know of any towns around here, would you?"

One of the strangers seemed to procure two somethings from behind him, place them together, draw one of his arms back and _WHOOSH!_ An arrow came flying at them and struck Scarf's hat, pinning it against the boat.

The strangers galloped up to the pirates and began to circle them, glaring down from atop their horses. They had brown skin and long black hair in braids, and their clothes were made from bison skin. One carried a bow and had a quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder, while the other wore a knife at his side. He was reaching for its handle when the other man abruptly stopped his horse and motioned for his companion to do the same. Marvin had come forward, laying his ears back and snorting at the intruders.

"Er...he's with us," the captain said, patting the bison's neck. "You're the locals, I presume?"

The men simply continued to stare.

"I don't think they speak English, sir," the Pirate With A Scarf said.

"Alright, let's see here... _we,"_ said the captain, gesturing to himself and the crew, "are looking for our friend..." He held up a hand to indicate shortness. "...and we need to get going..." He made a walking motion with his fingers. "...so if you could just — " **  
**

"We speak your tongue," one of the natives said.

"Really? Oh, wonderful! Do you gents know how to get a boat right side up? Those rivers are such a bother."

The other native narrowed his eyes and kept his hand on his knife. "Do you serve the yellow-eyed one?"

"No...who's that?"

* * *

"That's right, just _try_ an' run!"

Yellow-Eyes Jackson and his bandits cackled as yet another tipi went up in flames, sending its occupants dashing outside and into the growing pandemonium. Women were screaming, children were crying and the men's weapons were being shot out of their hands. It didn't take long for the natives to be herded into a crowd at the center of the village, where the bandits set about tying gags around their mouths and chaining their ankles together.

From the safety of an especially thick patch of grass, the pirates looked on in horror. "What in Neptune's name are they doing _that_ for?" he exclaimed.

"They will be taken away forever," the native with the knife answered. "Like those before them."

"They most certainly will _not,"_ said Charles. "We've got to put a stop to this."

"Their weapons are too great," said the native with the bow and arrows.

"Not with us here!" the captain replied. "Now, what we need is a distraction..."

He lost his train of thought as Marvin nudged him from behind, but as he turned around to glower at the bison, a light bulb practically went on over his head. "I don't suppose they've seen anyone ride a bison before."

* * *

Prolonged exposure to the sun did not sit well with Yellow-Eyes Jackson. "You fellas done yet?" he snapped as he tried to shield his face.

"We're on the last one — " **  
**

_"Ahoy!"_

Coming into the remains of the village was a man with a large beard and ridiculous outfit sitting on a bison. "Which of you men is the leader of this group?"

Taking aim, Jackson shot the man's hat off. "That'd be me."

The man briefly looked peeved, but managed to twist his face back into a pleasant smile as he dismounted. "What exactly are you doing with these people, might I ask?"

"Ain't none o' yer business."

"Do they live here?"

"They ain't gonna live here no more."

"Who owns this land?"

"Hell, I don't know! The gov'ment, maybe."

"But not you lot."

"Aw, jus' git to the point already!" one of the bandits whined. None of them noticed how the man's eyes occasionally darted behind them, where the natives were.

"You see, the thing is that if the people live on the land, and you don't own the land, then it isn't in your power to do what you wish with the people. That's the law."

The bandits burst into cruel laughter. "Do we look like we care about laws, mister?" Jackson said.

"Well, you ought to. I'm afraid I'll have to report you to the authorities — " **  
**

Jackson silenced him with a view down a gun barrel. "Any last words?"

To his surprise, the stranger smiled. "Next time you capture someone, do keep an eye on them."

_"What?"_ They all whirled around, but it was too late. The newly freed natives were advancing upon them, accompanied by even more ridiculously dressed peopled.

Laughing, the Pirate Captain whipped out his cutlass. _"Attack!"_

* * *

A variety of items were scattered across the scorched earth when all was said and done; rocks, arrows, teeth, guns twisted out of shape, a bruised squid corpse and the footprints of several frantic men being chased away by an angry bison.

The captain picked up the squid, stuffed it in his beard and watched as Marvin trotted back to him. "Are they gone, boy?"

Huffing, the bison moved his head in a way not unlike nodding.

"Good job!" said the captain, patting his head. "Come on. They've saved two spots for us."

Several lengths of rope had been tied to the boat, with either a pirate or a native at each one. "Everyone ready?" the captain asked as he and Marvin took their places.

The native with the bow nodded, shouted a word to the others in his language, then they all started to pull. The boat moved almost imperceptibly, then began to rise up out of the water and back onto its wheels. The sails were soaked and the deck was a mess, but before long, it was standing once more.

The Pirate Captain dropped his rope with a sigh of exhaustion. "Well, that went better than expected. Number Two, take the others and do some cleaning up, would you?" As they climbed up the ropes to the deck, he turned his attention to the natives. "Best of luck to you!"

"And to you," said the native with the bow.

"One more thing; have you seen a boy anywhere around here? Very pale, always smiling, probably got a funny-looking bird with him?"

They thought for a moment. "Many days ago. He walked north."

"Perfect! Thank you so much!" When the crew lowered the gangplank, the captain practically flew up it. "Don't just stand there! We've got to turn this thing around!"

From far away, the grass started to rustle. Up rose the bandits, now sporting bruises and hats full of arrows. "Who _were_ them strangers?" one of them asked.

Jackson winced as a burst of pain shot through the red hoof print on his face. "I dunno, but they ain't leavin' these parts alive."


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm going to town, Jenny."

_"Jennifer,"_ she said, giving Beatrice a quick glance before returning to her book. "Be back before **—** "

She did a double take. Beatrice was smiling **—** not the fake kind she always wore **,** actually _smiling._ "What's gotten into _you?"_ she blurted before she could stop herself. **  
**

"I'll come straight come, I promise," she chirped.

"But where are you even going?"

"To class."

"What class?"

"The pirate class. Aren't you coming too? Albino Pirate said he wanted to talk with you."

"You've been down there _before?"_ Jennifer snapped, shutting the book and advancing on her sister.

"Every day this week," she answered, unfazed.

"Does Uncle know?"

"He's been gone, remember?"

"...Of course I do," Jennifer said, wincing at her own mistake.

"Are you going to come?"

"For a while. I have some business to attend to." How far was it to the work site, again?

* * *

"Sorry I'm late!" Beatrice said as she and Jennifer entered Wechsler's barn. A dozen other children were sitting on the floor in front of Albino Pirate, giving him their full attention.

Albino Pirate's smile widened at the sight of the girls. "Oh, it's no trouble."

Jennifer stared at the sight before her. "I didn't think their parents would let them come..." _Anything to get rid of them for a time, I suppose._

"Neither did I," Albino Pirate said. "I think they're warming up to the idea!"

Jennifer rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, I have to be going — " **  
**

"Can't you stay? We're going to learn about reading maps and catching colossal squids!" he said while the children cheered behind him.

"You have fun with that," she said, sweeping out the door before Albino Pirate could respond.

One of the children raised his hand. "Will there be time for another story afterwards?"

"I'm afraid not," said Albino Pirate. "Dr. Wechsler and I are going to be very busy this afternoon. Tomorrow for sure."

The children nodded. It would be worth the wait, they were sure of that.

"Good! Now, before you go catching colossal squids, you've got to have a big jar to put it in..."

Once she was outside, Jennifer laughed aloud. Reading maps and catching squids? What kind of skills were those?The kind that weren't useful by any means, that's what! _No matter — Uncle will have put a stop to it by this time tomorrow. Now which way is that work site...?_

* * *

It was utterly beyond fathoming why anyone would want to settle in this country. If the lack of civilization didn't kill you, the weather would.

Jennifer's curls were damp with sweat, and every step she took felt as though her feet were being stabbed. When the weight of her petticoats began to drag her down, she submitted to them. Unbuttoning and removing her high heels, she flopped onto the ground and closed her eyes. Uncle Phineas could wait. What did people out here do with their leisure time, anyway? Look at the sky, feel the breeze, hear Dr. Wechsler and Mr. Hedley prattle on about something or other...

...wait, _what?_

"An' what all does this do, exactly?" Hedley asked as he helped Albino Pirate and Wechsler unload their wagon. Out came boards, hinges, a coil of rope, a barrel brimming with tar, a tall wooden box with a trap door for a roof and bags upon bags of tiny metal spheres.

"Zis," Wechsler said as he patted the barrel, "vill be zee first trap. Zee bandit steps onto zee pad, and his veight pulls down zee rope. Zee rope makes zee platform go up, down comes zee barrel and _wir haben ihn!"_

"I see..."

"And zis," he continued as he moved to the box, "vill be buried in the ground. Ven zee bandit steps on zee roof, he falls in! Zen vee lift it in and throw him in jail!"

Hedley looked up from the sphere he had been examining. "So what do these do?"

Wechsler took it in his hand, threw it on the ground and watched the sheriff jump back as it exploded into a cloud of smoke. "Distraction!"

Hedley tossed him the rest of the smoke bombs and shot him a glare to go with them. "Hope it goes well for y'all." Mounting his horse, he trotted away.

"Will you need help setting up the barrel?" Albino Pirate asked.

_"Qyyn._ I vant you to practice your riding, my boy," Wechsler answered, detaching his dappled gray mare from his wagon and putting on the tack he had brought. "Vhen you return, vee vill test these together."

"Yes, sir," said Albino Pirate. Wechsler helped him up into the saddle, and after a minute of making clicking noises and pushing at the horse's sides, he got the creature to begin an awkward walk.

"No galloping!"

"I won't!" Wobbling in his seat, Albino Pirate grabbed the horn of the saddle as the horse turned a corner and disappeared into the rocks. "Woah, horsie, not so fast..."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Miss Jenny? Is that you?"

She had stepped out from behind a rock and was blocking his path, her dress covered in dust and her hair coming undone. _"Jennifer._ What are you doing?"

"Dr. Wechsler said I ought to practice my riding while he gets ready to test our traps for the bandits! What are you doing?"

"Something _far_ more important. When I tell my uncle what's going on back in town, he'll put it right. Unlike you, you troublemaking little — " **  
**

" — backstabbin' yeller-bellied good-fer-nuttin!" **  
**

"Now, gentlemen, I'm sure we can settle this in an orderly manner..."

Jennifer's eyes widened at the voices drifting in from the distance. _"Uncle Phineas?"_ She ran off in the direction of the noise, while Albino Pirate tumbled off the horse and went after her. _  
_

The ground began to slope downwards into the rock until they formed a little box canyon. Within it stood four men, one of them well dressed and the other three ragged and gun-wielding.

"P-Please, there's been a misunderstanding," Phineas stammered as Jennifer and Albino Pirate crept to the canyon entrance and peered down.

"Shut up!" one of the bandits snapped, tying his hands behind his back and a blindfold around his eyes. "We oughta have done this a long time 'go." They positioned Phineas at one end of the canyon, walked to the other end and aimed their revolvers at him with a simultaneous _click._

Jennifer gasped. _"Don't!"_ she yelled before she could stop herself.

_"Jennifer?"_

The bandits' heads whipped around, and so did their guns. "Git 'em!"

* * *

Wechsler's horse was still standing patiently where it had been left when Hedley found it. "Boy?" he called out. "You alright?"

He drew his revolver and cocked it when he heard the voices. He recognized Mr. Winters well enough, and the other man sounded like one of Jackson's...

_"Don't!"_

_"Jennifer?"_

"Git 'em!"

...and that didn't sound good.

Albino Pirate and Jennifer came tearing over the hill, screaming at the top of their lungs. The horse's ears laid back at the shrill noise, and it took off at a gallop. "Wait!" they yelled, chasing after the creature. The three bandits ran up the path and followed them, unloading their revolvers over the youths' heads.

Now _that_ was something Hedley could process. "Y'all come over here!" he barked, spurring his horse to action and going after the men.

"What are we going to _do?"_ Jennifer screeched, nearly tripping as she dodged another bullet.

Albino Pirate's eyes darted around. Wechsler's wagon was back in sight, and the bags were sitting around its wheels. "I've got an idea!" he said, racing towards them.

Wechsler was climbing down from a column of rock, upon which the barrel of tar had been precariously placed. "Vat are you doing?" he asked when he saw Albino Pirate taking out the smoke bombs.

"Testing! Like you said!"

As the bandits closed in on their prey, Albino Pirate threw the smoke bombs. His targets screamed as the spheres landed at their feet and blew up in their faces. One of them sank to the ground rubbing his eyes, while the other two went running off.

Wechsler watched them flee. "I vould not go zat vay if I vere you."

The bandit had about half a second to register this before the ground seemed to swallow him up as he fell into the box trap. His companion gaped in horror and backed up against the column of rock, his foot falling on a square of wood buried in the dirt. With a creak, the platform holding the barrel tipped upwards and spilled its load onto the unsuspecting man. As the third bandit staggered to his feet, he heard a gun click behind him. "If ya'll like keepin' your brains in your head, put your hands where I can see 'em."

Albino Pirate clapped and cheered. Jennifer stared at the aftermath in raised his eyebrows and said "It _did_ verk on zee first try!"

* * *

The arrival of Wechsler and his wagon was not normally an event for the townspeople to gather around, but this warranted an exception. The outsider, Phineas and Jennifer were sitting up front with him, and the latter two looked thoroughly run down. In the back rode three of Jackson's bandits, all of them handcuffed and one of them covered in tar. Sheriff Hedley rode alongside them, keeping his gun focused on the prisoners. "Keep aside, everyone!" he said as the wagon stopped in front of his office. "Y'all can gawk at 'em later."

They gathered around him anyway. "We oughta string 'em up!"

"Let's make 'em tell us where their hideout is first!"

"How'd you catch 'em, Sheriff?"

"I didn't," he answered, pointing to Albino Pirate and Wechsler. "They did." Dragging the bandits from the wagon, he marched them inside.

The people stared in shock for a moment, then whispers began to swarm through the crowd. "Those two?" Phineas said. _"Really?"_

"You should have seen it," Jennifer answered. "Quite the display..."

She trailed off as she looked to the horizon. A dark dot had appeared and was quickly moving towards the town. As it came closer, it material into a green stagecoach and stopped in front of the post office.

Her face brightened. "Father? Father, are you there?" she cried as she hurried towards it. "Oh, Father, you wouldn't _believe_ what happened today!" She flung open the door, but the interior of the coach was empty.

The driver gently pulled her away as her smile faded. "Are you Miss Winters?"

"Yes..."

"He sent you these," he answered, handing her a rectangular box with a ribbon and a letter.

"...Thank you," she said, barely looking at them.

"Jennifer!" Phineas said, stepping down from the wagon and dusting himself off. "It's time to go home. You're in no state to be in public."

* * *

_From the Desk of **Senator Averell Winters**_

_My Dear Daughter,  
_

_I am most saddened to hear about the loss of your dress. I hope this replacement shall lift your spirits. I am very busy and cannot write, but I will come when it is convenient._

_Your Father_

* * *

Well...it _was_ quite pretty. Deep blue silk with cream-colored lace lining the sleeves and skirt. _Perhaps I'll wear it when he comes,_ Jennifer thought as she stroked the fabric. _Whenever that is._

Sighing, she lay back on her bed. Her feet were still killing her from all that walking.

_You know, maybe learning to read a map would be useful._

Jennifer sat up again and looked at the dress. She knew exactly when she was going to wear it.


	10. Chapter 10

The knocking was quiet and hesitant, but Albino Pirate heard it all the same. "Come in...oh, hello, Miss Jennifer," he said as the barn door slowly swung open.

She remained in the doorway, wearing a dark blue dress with a sunhat and carrying a small basket. "Jenny's fine, if that's what you're comfortable with. Um...good afternoon," she added, doing a quick curtsey.

"Afternoon! Dr. Wechsler's off talking to Mr. Hedley right now — " **  
**

"I was hoping you'd be here, actually."

"...Really?"

Jennifer held up the basket. "You haven't had lunch yet, have you?"

"No."

She smiled in relief. "It didn't turn out as I'd hoped," she continued as she set it on the table. "All I could find for the sandwiches was some Swiss cheese and ham — "

Albino Pirate's face lit up. "Why didn't you say so?"

* * *

They made a kettle of tea on Wechsler's stove and soon began to chat over the sandwiches and a plate of badly burnt cookies. "It's all very nice!" Albino Pirate kept saying.

"Consider it a thank you. For yesterday," Jennifer answered. "So...you like ham, do you?"

"Oh, I've quite missed it!" he said in between mouthfuls of his sandwich. "We would have Ham Night back on the boat, and Captain would always make a show of slicing it up." A faraway look came into his eyes. "I wonder if they've had any more...oh, Polly, that's not polite!" The dodo had jumped onto the table and grabbed one of the cookies in her beak.

"At least someone likes them," Jennifer said, shooing her off. "...What kind of bird is that, anyway?"

"A dodo."

Her eyes bugged out. "But they're supposed to be extinct!"

"Mr. Darwin says that, too. He thinks Polly's the last one."

"And you and your friends have it."

He nodded happily. "She's like our auntie!"

"...Who _are_ these friends of yours, exactly?"

She had intended to stay only half an hour, but time quickly became irrelevant as some of the strangest things she had ever heard were poured into her ears. Tales of going to London and battling the queen and destroying a warship, exploring islands and hiding in volcanoes. She was told about people in masks who lived in a pyramid, and a funny man called the Doctor who fell out of the sky in a blue box. She wouldn't have believed it if she had been listening to anyone else; he seemed to, however, and his excitement spread to her. When it was finished, all she had to say was "How on _earth_ are you still alive?" The Albino Pirate merely shrugged.

"Doc, please tell me y'all are seein' this, too." Hedley and Wechsler stood in the doorway, staring at the scene before them with bemusement. "Didn't 'spect to see you here, Princess."

"What time is it?"

"About three."

"I'm sorry, I must be going," she said to Albino Pirate as she gathered her things. "Thank you again."

"Will you and Beatrice be coming to class tomorrow?" he asked.

"...We'll certainly try."

Hedley shook his head and strolled back outside. "Now I know I'm seein' things."

* * *

Jennifer looked from the wooden sword in her hand to the children, who were happily clashing away at one another. "I'm not sure about this," she muttered, struggling to hold the weapon right.

"You'll catch up!" Albino Pirate chirped. "Just try swinging it."

She did as she was told, only to trip and fall on her face. "...I don't think this is going to work..."

_"Sicher nicht,"_ Wechsler remarked as Albino Pirate helped her up. "You cannot fight vile dressed like zat. Vee vill need somesing lighter..."

* * *

The sleeves of the shirt were shorter than what she was used to, the loose skirt felt odd, green wasn't her color and the clunky brown boots made her feel short.

"Zey are vorn," said Wechsler as he looked them over, "but zey shall do. I vas going to use zem for scraps, actually..."

"Yes, yes, now what's next?"

Albino Pirate held up the sword once more. "Try hitting it."

Planting her feet, Jennifer swung. When her sword collided with his on the first try, she screamed and dropped it. The sound of Beatrice laughing from across the room made her wince.

"That's better than I usually am!" Albino Pirate answered, picking the sword up and handing it to her. "Now try again."

Jennifer begrudgingly obeyed. "Perhaps we can do something different tomorrow."

* * *

They certainly did. While Albino Pirate stayed in the barn and showed the children how to use slingshots, Hedley leaned against the outside and watched as Wechsler showed the trembling Jennifer how to aim a shotgun. "Hold it next to your shoulder und pull zee trigger. I must varn you, it has a bit of a — "

_**"OW!"** _

" — kick."

The scream echoed throughout the town, and the people were soon gathering behind the barn. Jennifer was on the ground whimpering, and the target set up had a bullet hole in it a foot above the bullseye. Miss Winters couldn't possibly have made that...could she?

Hedley rolled his eye. "Use a revolver!" he called out.

"I don't suppose you'd like to demonstrate?"

Looking at the ground, he began to shuffle off. As he walked, one of the men stopped him. "You know if that boy would let folks watch?"

* * *

"Cannons...barrel traps...them weird box thingies...how long is puttin' all this together gonna take, Doc?"

"A veek at most. Less if zee rest of zee town vill help."

"Shouldn't be a problem, then," Hedley answered, glancing out his window towards the barn. A good chunk of the population was either in or around it, and the ones who weren't were off practicing somewhere else.

Gathering his blueprints, Wechsler tucked them under his arm and headed for the office door. "Might I make a suggestion, Sheriff?"

"Go ahead."

"Zee children sink you should learn to use a cutlass. Zey say it vould be fery good for you." With a smile and a tip of his hat, he stepped outside.

As Hedley watched him from the window, he caught sight of the Winters girls. They were in the street, practicing with their swords — not very well, but he was more impressed by how they actually looked happy to be around one another. _Well, whaddaya know._

* * *

_"Achtung!_ Three...two...one...begin!"

The children and Wechsler watched as the townspeople stationed around the cannon sprang into action. One cleaned the interior with a sponge on a stick, another pushed the gunpowder and cannonball inside and yet another rammed them in. They scattered as a fourth person lit the fuse. The ground shook as the cannonball shot out and obliterated the wooden target placed several yards away.

"How long did that take?" Beatrice asked.

Wechsler looked at his watch. "Sirty seconds! New record! Someone get another target, vee must get it down to _at least_ tventy-five!"

* * *

"Does the gen'ral store look alright, Sheriff?"

Hedley stepped off his porch, a cutlass hang from the spot on his belt where a pistol would normally rest. "Put one more barrel on the roof. Over the front window." He strolled down the road, looking around as Blue Mud pulled itself back together. Flaps on the fronts of buildings concealed cannons, tar barrels were perched on the roofs just out of sight and patches of dirt hiding box traps dotted the ground.

Throughout it all weaved Wechsler. "Yes, yes, vheel it in gently...some of you could hide beneath zat porch, perhaps...? No, zat goes in zee _oser_ way. Vith zee flaps facing up." The people whose jokes he had been the butt of a fortnight before smiled and answered "Yes, sir."

"Is it goin' alright, Doc?"

"Fery well! Vee vill finish a day ahead of schedule at zis rate!"

"Say, you know where that boy's gone off to?"

"He said something about Miss Vinters, I beliefe..."

* * *

"It's alright, Jenny! You're nearly there!"

"That only means I'm going to fall that much farther!"

They had found a nice tall rock with plenty of crevices for hands and feet to go. Albino Pirate had insisted that Jennifer learn to climb, but she failed to see the value in it — not with one hand dangling free and a good ten feet between her and the ground, at least. "Look, I can't do this!"

"Of course you can! Just look up!"

Taking several deep breaths, she turned her eyes towards the top of the rock. It was about three feet away, closer than she'd thought. She lifted her hand back up, scrambled for a hole and soon found it. Albino Pirate cheered as she made her way up the last stretch and stumbled onto the top of the rock.

When she stood up and looked around, Jennifer couldn't help smiling. It wasn't like looking out her window; there was something different to see each way she turned, and being so out in the open gave her an unfamiliar thrill. "You ought to come see this!" she called down.

Albino Pirate was already on his way up. "It's just like being in the crows' nest!" he said when he reached the top. "Well, almost. You're moving and there's water instead of ground. It's still very fun!"

It certainly sounded so.

* * *

**Two Days Later**

* * *

The clock was close to striking twelve when Hedley came out of his office, a cigar in his mouth and a content smirk on his face. "Well, boy, your month's up. I'd ask how y'all did, but I don't have to."

Everyone in town was milling about in the street, clutching guns and slingshots and bags of smoke bombs. They were all whispering amongst each other and anxiously staring out at the horizon. Albino Pirate saw him first and hurried onto the porch. "I think we're all ready, sir."

"We'd better be."

"How do you know they're coming today?"

"They always wait 'til it looks like we're done fixin' the place up. Just after noon."

"...Well, maybe they've finally given up!"

The sheriff patted him on the shoulder. "That'd be nice, boy."

A silence fell over the town as the clock bells began to chime. Each ring seemed harsher than the last. Nine...ten...eleven...twelve. As the noise died down, the crowd turned to watch the plains. For what seemed like the longest time, nothing happened. Then, almost in a second, the cloud of dust rose up and began to sweep towards them.

"They're coming!" a woman shouted. _"They're coming!"_


	11. Chapter 11

No gunshots or hollering heralded the bandits' arrival. They simply galloped into town and gathered in front of the sheriff's office, their reins in one hand and their revolvers in the other. "Y'all know what to do, boys," Jackson said as he dismounted and approached the door.

His men spurred their horses into motion, and each one headed for a building. "We're gonna run y'all out fer _good_ this time!"

Jackson shot through the office door. "I'll know y'all is in there, Hedley! Gimme back my men an' come out to fight, else I'm comin' in there myself!" The office remained silent, as did the rest of the buildings.

One of the men looked about in confusion. "Why ain't they screamin'?"

Another dismounted. "Maybe they all packed up 'an — _help!_ _HELP!"_ His companions whirled around just in time to see him swallowed up by the earth.

All at once, the town seemed to explode. White smoke burst up from the ground, creating a haze that made it all but impossible to see. Barrels of tar rained down and trapped the men inside them. A hail of gunfire rang out from the roofs and windows, and the walls opened up to spit out cannonballs. "I'm hit! _I'm hit!"_ several men screamed.

The horses whinnied in terror, and those who were still carrying riders bucked them off before galloping away. "Don't just stand there!" Jackson sputtered through the smoke. "Go after 'em!"

"But what 'bout the others?" someone asked.

"Y'all wanna end up in jail too?" Jackson snapped before running back out onto the plains. His remaining partners were quick to follow.

As the smoke cleared, the people of Blue Mud flooded into the street. Throwing down their weapons, they whooped and danced around. "That's right, keep on running!" they yelled at the horizon. "You ain't gonna mess with _us_ anymore! Three cheers for Doc 'an the pirate boy!"

The sound of their happiness did not sit well on Phineas' eardrums. "Hmph..."

* * *

"Jennifer, I want to speak with you," Phineas said as he opened the door to his niece's room. "You need to — goodness _gracious,_ Jennifer, what on _earth_ are you wearing?"

Jenny turned from the mirror in surprise. "What, this?" she said, gesturing to her green outfit. "It's practical."

"It's unsightly, and you are not to wear it again! Now as I was saying — "

"Albino Pirate and Dr. Wechlser are having a party at the barn. May I go?"

"No, you most certainly may not! In fact, I don't want you speaking to that boy anymore. He's a negative influence on you, Jennifer. You and the rest of this town."

"What makes you think that?"

He simply turned his nose up and marched out of the room with a huff. "I expect to see you in something more proper tomorrow. Goodnight," he snapped before shutting her door and locking it.

Sinking onto the bed, Jenny stared daggers after him. _Negative influence? Who are you to be the judge of that? You hardly know him._ She had promised him she would be there, too... _  
_

The sounding of creaking wood got her attention. Her window was not locked, and a gust of wind had blown it open. The corner of her mouth curled up into a smirk. _What is a window except another door?_

* * *

Albino Pirate grinned when he saw Jenny stepping through the barn door. "You made it!"

She smiled back. "I don't know how long I can stay, though."

"That's alright," he answered, walking around the room with her. "Does it look nice?"

"It looks _lovely..."_

Gently glowing lanterns hung from the posts, and all the skylights had been opened to allow a fine view of the stars. The tables had been pushed off to the side, creating a wide stretch of floor for the guests to mingle on. The nearly completed horseless carriage was still on its pedestal, though, and many of the people had gathered around it. They whispered excitedly and gasped as Wechsler showed them how it worked and revved the engine a bit. Hedley was the center of another group, chatting with some of the women and looking happier than Jenny had ever seen him. Several people had brought dishes of food, and others were setting up a band. Someone put a bow to a fiddle, and a bright, fast-paced tune began to ring out over the festivities. The guests clapped and sang as they cleared the floor. Some paired up and began whirling around the room.

Albino Pirate watched them happily. "Do you know how to dance, Jenny?"

"Oh, just a waltz. I'd rather not, really — "

"Git in there!" Hedley shouted, pushing them both into the fray with a laugh.

At first, they were simply tripping across the floor in an attempt to avoid the other dancers. They soon picked up the rhythm, though, and found themselves spinning around as well. _This would never happen back east!_ Jenny thought as she laughed.

_None of this would._

* * *

"Do you really think Mr. Hedley found a rabbit with antlers once?"

"I climbed out a window without breaking my neck. Anything's possible."

Midnight had come and gone long ago, and the two youths were strolling up towards the Winters mansion. "That invention's coming along well, isn't it?" Jenny said. "Looks like it'll be done soon."

"Sometime next week. I'll have to leave after that."

"...Really?"

He nodded. "The rest of the crew must be worried sick about Polly and I. They may never find us if we don't go looking for them!"

"I suppose."

They walked in silence until Albino Pirate spoke up again. "Beatrice says you have to go back home for school soon."

"School, my first debutante season...why, I might even be married after that." Never before had it all sounded so _abrupt._ A sudden obstruction sprang from the darkness to block her path; they were beneath her window, and she had walked right into the wall of her house. "Er...goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"...Listen, I know I haven't treated you very nicely since you came here. I owe you an apology, and I want to thank you for all of this."

He smiled a bit. "It is nice, isn't it? Your father can have his railroad now."

"Not that. You've...you've made everyone here happy. Even me." Having no other words, she simply resorted to throwing her arms around him and giving him a hug. She returned to her senses after a moment and quickly pulled away, blushing. "Sorry!" With a hesitant curtsey, she turned and climbed up the uneven brick wall to her window. When she reached her room, she looked out. Albino Pirate stared back up at her for a moment before waving and walking back towards town.

She sat at her desk, not the least bit tired. Her fingers were itching for something to do, so she grabbed a pen and some paper. _Father would like to hear of this._

Another gust of wind blew into the room and scattered her papers. She began to pick them up, but she stopped when she caught sight of what was written on one of them. _My Dear Father, I must preface this letter by saying that I had previously hoped our situation here would improve. I now see the folly in such thoughts. I am very unhappy for several reasons, foremost being that the dress you sent me is ruined..._

Jenny glanced at her wardrobe, where the new dress was hanging. _If I never told him, then how did he know?_


	12. Chapter 12

"Sir, put the spyglass away."

"But Number Two — " **  
**

"It's too dark to see anything," the Pirate With A Scarf said, gesturing to the circle of light from the campfire. "We'll keep going in the morning."

The Pirate Captain sat down next to him. "Oh, alright. Marvin, stand guard!"

Marvin snorted and trotted off.

"I think he's close by, you know," the captain told his crew. "I can feel it! So, how about a shanty? Or whatever Americans sing, perhaps..."

As the pirates got to talking, they failed to notice what lay outside the campfire. Out of the grass crept several dark shapes, accompanied by the quiet clicking of revolvers. "We gonna get 'em right here, Jackson?" one of them whispered.

"Not fer these ones. There's too many."

"But I wanna make 'em scream!" another said.

"Shut up!" Jackson snapped. "We's gonna make 'em scream, awright..."

Charles looked around. "Did you hear that?" he asked, silencing his friends.

"Hear what?"

"Voices."

They listened, but the only noise to be heard was the faint rustling of the grass. "It's probably nothing, Charlie."

"But I could have _sworn_ I heard someone."

"Maybe it's a ghost!" the Pirate With Gout said cheerfully.

"Don't be silly," said the captain. "If it was a ghost, it would pop up dramatically and try to scare us out of our skins!"

"I think we ought to go back to the boat," said the Pirate With A Scarf. "Just to be safe — "

_THWAP!_

They barely had time to realize that they'd even heard a noise before a large net flew out of the darkness and pinned them to the ground. "We ain't ghosts," a voice shouted as the bandits surrounded them, "but _y'all_ are gonna be!"

* * *

"Poseidon's pimples, did you keep dead rats in these bags? This is no way to treat your prisoners!"

Jackson poked the Pirate Captain in the back with his revolver. "Shut yer trap."

After a moment, the captain leaned over to the Pirate With A Scarf. "It's not that bad, actually. They ought to go all the way with prisoner torturing or just not bother at all."

"Boss!" one of the bandits shouted. "Hey, boss! We're back!"

The bags came off, and the pirates blinked in surprise as their eyes adjusted to the lack of light. They stood in the center of a large, wet stone cavern lit only by a few lanterns. Lines of thin, rusty railroad tracks snaked across the ground, and upon them sat mine carts loaded with rocks.

"Who are they _supposed_ to be?" a voice asked disdainfully. Standing in an alcove carved from the rock and looking at the group was a tall, shadowy figure. "I thought I told you to prepare for the next raid!"

"These is the folks that beat us up the other day, boss!" said one of the bandits. "I think they's educated types."

"I suppose everyone sounds like that to you."

Jackson stepped forward. "We ain't stupid, mister. We heard y'all talkin' 'bout what yer gonna do. Yer gonna turn us in an' have us hangin' soon as y'all get what you want, ain't you?" Raising his revolver, he aimed it at the figure and cocked it. "At least that's what y'all _think."_

The figure backed away for a moment, but he quickly regained his ground. "Gentlemen, the only reason you haven't hanged already is because I _own_ the law. And I can assure you that you and your men will be hunted down like Indians if you pull that trigger."

Jackson glared at him, but he slipped his gun into his holster.

"Good choice," said the figure. "Now, I want you all ready by tomorrow morning."

"It ain't gonna work no more, boss!" said a bandit. "They's gotten all educated, too. That funny-lookin' boy's been helpin' 'em."

The Pirate Captain looked up. "What boy?"

"They'll listen to me," the figure said, "and the boy can be dealt with. Now off you go!"

"What about these?" a bandit asked as he pointed to the pirates, who were now struggling to get their hands untied.

"Do whatever you want with them," the figure answered as he disappeared into his alcove.

The bandits smirked as they surrounded their prey. "Ya know," said Jackson, "we don't take kindly to folks who make fools outta us. 'Course, we don't have to teach that to all of ya. Isn't that right, little lady?" His eyes were fixed on Emma's chest as he cornered her, failing to notice that she was reaching for the handle of his revolver.

A shot echoed through the cavern, and Jackson's scream reached a most unmanly pitch as he fell to the ground clutching his bleeding foot. "What're you idiots doin'?" he yelled as his men crowded around him. "Git 'em!"

They turned their guns on the pirates and let loose a hail of bullets — bullets that would have hit their targets if said targets had been there.

"Do you even know where we're going, sir?" the Pirate With A Scarf asked as the crew hurried into a tunnel, tripping on railroad ties as they went.

"Planning it out ahead never works, anyway."

Charles spoke up. "Can't we at least have some — AAAHHH!" He was cut off as he stumbled and fell face first into an empty mine cart left on the tracks.

The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets And Kittens could hear the bandits close behind them. "Everyone get in!" The rest of the crew piled into the cart, and he began to push it along the track. Before long, the cries of their pursuers were fading away and the track was sloping downwards. The cart picked up speed, and the pirate leapt aboard.

"You know, I think I'll miss those coves somewhat," the captain said with a laugh. "Once you get past the whole 'trying to kill us' bit, it's rather charming how they think they're clever."

The Pirate With A Scarf was looking ahead, straining to see through the darkness. "Sir? Sir, I think we might be about to — "

_CRASH!_

The cart sped into another cavern, slammed into a pair of bumpers, flipped over and spilled its occupants out onto a ground of rocks and mud.

"...Well, there you go," the first mate sputtered.

As the pirates picked themselves up, a voice rang out from the tunnel. "I can hear 'em! They went this-a way!"

"...On second thought, a plan is quite a valuable investment..."

"Up there, Cap'n!" said the Pirate With Gout as he pointed at the cavern ceiling, where a shred of moonlight was poking through a crack in the rock.

Charles, meanwhile, was on his knees examining the mud. "Interesting..."

"Not now, Chuck!" the captain shouted. He and the others were climbing up to the ceiling and clawing at the crack with all their might. The ray of moonlight grew larger until they had poked out a hole through which they could see stars. The captain went up first, looking and listening. "Coast is clear!" he whispered.

The others quickly followed him. "We need to cover the hole," the Pirate With A Scarf said.

"Where are we?" Emma asked as the captain pulled several boards out of his beard and lay them down. The moon was mostly covered by clouds, but the faint outlines of buildings were visible through what little light there was.

"What matters is where we _ought_ to be, which isn't here," said the captain. "Let's try getting back to the boat."

"We don't know where it is!"

"I did say we'd try, didn't I?" He started as a woolly lump nudged his back. _"Marvin?_ Oh, Marvin, where on earth have you _been?"_

"Captain, I think that mud was saturated with — "

"I said not now, Chuck!" The captain hopped on Marvin's back, and the crew hurried out of Blue Mud as fast as they could.


	13. Chapter 13

_Something's wrong,_ Jenny thought the moment she woke up. Uncle Phineas always came in at sunrise to open the curtains and let the light rouse her. Today they were still closed, and the faint light of late morning shone through the gap between them. When she sat up to look at the clock on her wall, it read half past eleven.

_Something's **very** wrong._ "Beatrice?" Hurrying across the hall, she found her sister still asleep. "Beatrice, we've overslept!" she said as she shook her awake.

Beatrice yawned, opened her eyes and stared up at Jenny in confusion. "Where's Uncle?"

"I don't know."

They crept up the stairs and down the hall to his study, but it was empty. The window hung open, and the desk reserved for their father had papers strewn all over it.

"You check downstairs," Jenny said. "I'll go into town."

"I think you'll have more luck," Beatrice answered, looking out the window. Everyone in town was crowded around the porch of the sheriff's office, staring up anxiously at two tall figures addressing them. "That doesn't look like Mr. Hedley..."

The girls' thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the front door. When they went downstairs and pulled it open, they found Albino Pirate standing on the steps. Polly was tucked under his arm, and he looked rather nervous. "Your uncle sent me. He says there's someone here to see you."

* * *

"Mr. Hedley!" the girls shouted as they and Albino Pirate elbowed their way to the front of the chattering crowd. "Mr. Hedley, what's going on?"

"Wish I knew." They jumped as they saw Hedley standing beside them, staring coldly at the figures. "They ain't been tellin' me anything."

"Who's 'they?'" Jenny demanded. Leaving her friends behind, she pushed on towards the porch. "Uncle, what's this all about?"

When she heard the voice of the man speaking, however, she stopped. It can't be...can it? Slowly and silently, she walked to the edge of the porch and stared up at a man with features very much like her own.

"And so," her father was saying, "it is my sad duty to inform you that the project is being postponed indefinitely."

_"What?"_ Jenny exclaimed, her cry lost beneath the protests of the other townspeople.

"There's nothing I can do about it."

"Whaddaya mean, ya can't do nothin' 'bout it?" someone shouted. "Yer in charge of it, ain't ya?"

"The current costs of the project outweigh any potential gains. We have encountered far too many obstacles during construction."

Jenny stepped into view. "Like what?" she asked, raising her voice.

Her father looked down in surprise, noticing her for the first time. "Jennifer?"

"What kind of obstacles?"

"Bandits, mostly. The property damage has been quite extensive, and all attempts to impose justice have proved ineffective — " **  
**

"What's wrong, Jenny?" Albino Pirate asked as he rushed to her side. "Who are you talking to?"

Jenny's eyes lit up at the sight of him. "We've been fighting them off!" she said, and the crowd shouted in agreement.

"Not this again," Phineas huffed.

"Just listen, Father. This is Albino Pirate — I've written to you about him, haven't I? He's been helping us keep the bandits away."

Her father raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"He's shown us how to fight with swords and guns and build traps and things like that. We sent them running just yesterday, Father! You should have seen it!"

He silenced her with a wave of his hand. "Phineas, take my daughters back to the house, would you?"

_"...That's_ your father?"

"There's no reason to stop the railroad!" Jenny said as Phineas picked up Beatrice with one hand and grabbed her by the arm with the other. "We're already building the station...!" Her protests were drowned out by the crowd as she was dragged away.

Albino Pirate started as her father touched his shoulder. "Come inside, boy. We need to have a talk."

* * *

He wasn't sure what to think. He certainly wanted to be nice to his friends' father, but...he had expected someone nicer. "That's Mr. Hedley's desk," Albino Pirate hesitantly said as Averell seated himself in the sheriff's chair.

"He won't be needing it anymore, I should think. This town is going to shrivel and die without that railroad. Surprising that it hasn't already, actually...so, you're friends with Jennifer and Beatrice."

"Yes, sir. We've all been very nice to each other."

The man had lost interest in him and was rummaging through the desk drawers. "Hmm."

"...Jenny's right about the bandits, you know — "

"Jennifer."

"She said I could call her Jenny, and she's right about the bandits. If we keep fighting whenever they come back, I'm sure we could capture all of them! Then you can keep building the railroad!"

Shutting the drawer, Averell looked him over. "There's something I ought to tell you. I couldn't say it outside...the children would find it rather disconcerting."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"You see, my stagecoach was supposed to arrive in town yesterday. We ran into a bit of trouble."

Albino Pirate gasped. "Did the bandits catch you?"

He nodded. "They simply came riding up out of nowhere. Looked quite angry. When they stopped the coach, Jackson said he had a message for me. He claimed that this town is in his territory. He wanted it gone, but the people had learned to fight him. If I didn't talk some sense into them, he'd burn this place to the ground once and for all and kill every soul he could find...starting with my girls."

_"...Oh,"_ Albino Pirate murmured, turning even paler than usual. "I had no idea..."

"I know."

"Is this my fault?" the boy asked frantically.

"I'm afraid so."

"C-Can't I do anything to fix it?"

"We'll have to dismantle those traps you've set up."

He headed for the door. "I'll go tell everyone — "

"No, no, I'll take care of it. You have another task."

"What's that, sir...?"

"Leave at once."

Albino Pirate stared at him in confusion and dismay. "But why?"

"Jackson will surely be looking for you. Best to get out while you still can."

"...I suppose you're right..."

"Of course I am."

"At least let me say goodbye first — "

"No time for that," Averell said, brushing past him. "I'm terribly sorry, but I must be going." He stepped outside, shutting the door in Albino Pirate's face.

The boy followed him. Polly was still waiting on the porch, but everyone else had gone. In the sky, dark gray clouds were gathering. "Time to go, Polly," he said as he picked her up. "We have to find another adventure."

The dodo squawked and stretched her neck out towards the Winters mansion.

"No, Polly," he said. "I told you it's time to go." Putting on his hat, he trudged past the buildings and into the desert as fat, cold drops of rain began to pour down.


	14. Chapter 14

Averell flinched as the door to his study creaked open. "Father?" Jenny asked, her voice rising with worry.

"Jennifer, how many times have I told you to knock before interrupting my work?"

She backed away. "Sorry. I just thought..."

"Spit it out."

"I can't find Albino Pirate anywhere. Have you seen him?"

"Half an hour ago, actually. He walked off to who knows where."

Jenny stared at him in disbelief. "You mean he _left?"_

"I'm afraid so, dear."

Instead of going away as he'd hoped, she came into the room and sat down next to him. "Father, there must be some kind of misunderstanding. He wouldn't just take off without saying goodbye — " **  
**

"Yes, well, he apparently would. Now be good and leave me to my work," he added, looking back at his papers.

Jenny's face fell. "...Yes, Father," she murmured as she stood and walked to the door.

Averell turned around. "I have some good news for you!"

"And what might that be?"

"Phineas tells me that you and Beatrice have had quite enough of this dreadful place. We're all starting back for New York today, right after lunch. You'll like that, won't you?"

"Um..."

"Of course you will! Why don't you go start packing?" He turned back to the desk before Jenny could protest.

Sighing, Jenny walked back down the hall to her room. Opening the curtains, she stared through the rain at Blue Mud. With the people hiding inside and the water staining the new coats of paint on the buildings, it looked just as it had a month ago.

As she began pulling dresses from her wardrobe and tossing them into a pile on the bed, her eyes happened to drift towards her desk. An open letter still sat there. _The_ letter.

* * *

"Father," Jenny said as she marched back into the study with the paper clutched in her hand, "I need to talk to you about something."

The room, however, was empty. She was turning to go search downstairs when she noticed that her father's desk was still cluttered with papers. _He never leaves his work unorganized._ He would surely be back soon. Sitting at the desk, she stared at the doorway and waited for him to return.

As the minutes without a sign of her father, she began to sift through the papers on the desk and place them into piles for him. Business documents filled with numbers on the left, letters on the right...whatever _this_ was left in the center.

She could tell it was a letter and written in her father's hand, but that was all. There was no heading at the top, and the words were so hastily scribbled that they were nearly ineligible. She squinted as she gradually made out the words.

**_To Senator Cole_ **

**_Have located a mine sizable for our intentions in the territory. Railroad and digging obstructed by pre-existing settlement. Have enlisted the serivces of a Mr. Jackson to clear it out. I can ensure that we will have a sufficient supply of ore to show the electoral college.  
_ **

**_Senator Winters_ **

"What are you doing in here?"

She gasped and whirled around, but her shock and fear quickly turned to anger. _"Why?"_ she snapped, holding up the letter.

"I don't know what you mean..."

"Why'd you make a deal with Jackson? What are you clearing out the town for? What's this ore you wrote about?"

He walked towards her. "Now, Jennifer, this is going to be better for everyone — "

_"Tell me,"_ she said, backing up against the open window.

He lunged at her. "Give that back!"

Twisting around, Jenny ducked away from his grasp and tumbled out the window while still holding the letter. She fell for several feet before straightening herself, reaching out and grabbing onto the sill of another window. Hastily stuffing the letter between her teeth, her other hand scrambled for a hole in the brickwork and found it. She climbed down the last few feet as she heard her father shout "Someone go after her!" She didn't even bother to pick up her skirts as she ran off through the mud towards town. Everything faded from her mind except _who can I tell?_ Wait — there! The sheriff's office!

_"Mr. Hedley!"_ she shrieked, bursting through the front door and barely coming to a stop.

Hedley appeared from the back room staring at her in confusion. "The heck's goin' on with you?"

"You have to show this to everyone!" she answered, throwing the letter on the desk. "Show it to everyone _now!"_

"What is it?"

"Could I borrow your horse, please?"

"He's tethered outside, but — "

She ran back outside as quickly as she had come in. Hedley watched through the window as she hopped onto the horse, flicked the reins and took off at a gallop out of town, kicking up mud behind her.

* * *

"Do you think the rain's going to stop soon, Polly?"

As if on cue, the downpour suddenly became that much stronger.

Sighing, Albino Pirate held Polly a little closer and leaned against the wall of the cave they had taken shelter in. "Mr. Hedley said there weren't any other towns around here."

Maybe they could start walking somewhere and find food along the way. Maybe they would find another wagon. Maybe the captain would find them at last. Maybe they should just stay in this cave forever and ever...

_Tap, tap, tap._ It was a faint noise, barely louder than the raindrops, but there it was. What was it?

Putting on his hat, he ventured outside the cave. "H-Hello...?"

_Tap, tap, tap._ The noise was moving now, to the other side of the cave. It was like the sound wood made when it hit something, and he knew he had heard it somewhere before. "Please wait!" he shouted as he ran after it. He had barely gotten to the other side before he bumped into someone small, stout and leaning on a crutch.

_"...Lad!"_

Albino Pirate had no time to get any words out before Pirate With Gout threw an arm around him and gave him the tightest hug he'd ever received. "We've all been worried sick about ya, lad! Why, Cap'n has nearly torn his beard out! Where on earth have ya _been?"_

"It would take a rather long time to explain..."

_"You found him!"_

The Pirate With Gout pushed Albino Pirate into the arms of the other crew members, who came running up to engulf him. "Now what did I tell you, Number Two?" the captain said triumphantly as he lifted the boy off his feet. "I knew he was around here!"

"Sir, you were just looking through the spyglass in the other direction."

"Alright, so I was hoping he'd be around here. Doesn't matter! I was starting to think we'd lost you for good, lad... _so,"_ he said, putting Albino Pirate down and picking up Polly, "are you feeling alright? No broken bones? Ever captured by a giant squid?"

"I don't think they have those here, Captain."

"Good! Come along, then. Boat's this way. We're going back to Blood Island, I've had _quite_ enough of this country. The people are strange and the rivers aren't very friendly — "

_"Albino Pirate!_ Albino Pirate, wait!"

They turned. A small had appeared in the distance and was quickly coming at them. "Who's that?" Gout asked.

Albino Pirate, however, had already broken away from the group and was hurrying towards the dot. "Miss Jenny? Miss Jenny, is that you?"

The horse skidded to a stop as Jenny stumbled off the saddle and ran to him. "Please, you've got to come back! The whole town's in danger...!"

"But your father told me — "

"Father's lied to all of us!"

"Sorry to interrupt, I really am, but what's this all about?" the captain said as the crew approached them.

"And what's all over your dress?" Charles asked Jenny. The hem of her skirts was caked in mud from town.

"It's just mud, it's not important — "

"Is it usually that color?" he continued, kneeling down and scraping off a handful to examine it further.

"Yes, what of it?"

"Captain," he exclaimed, standing back up, "this is the same material that was in the mud I found last night!"

"Are you still on that?"

"It's saturated with silver!"

They all looked at him. _"Really?"_

"There's quite a lot just in this bit, and there's no telling how large that mine was."

"A mine?" said Jenny. "There's a mine near here?"

"Over that way," the captain answered, pointing in the direction she had come from.

She was already lost in her thoughts. "So that's what he meant..."

"What are you talking about?" Albino Pirate asked.

"I found a letter Father wrote. He said he'd found a mine and he was going to use it for something. It's got to be right under Blue Mud! He said there was a town in the way and he's made a deal with these bandits to destroy it!"

"You know, I think we've met them," the captain said. "Horrid coves, aren't they?"

"But what does your father want with the mine?" Scarf asked.

"He mentioned something about the — "

_BLAM!_ A bullet came whizzing out of nowhere and knocked the captain's hat clean off his head. _"Why does that keep happening?!"_

"Sir, I think we have more pressing matters at hand..."

"All of ya put yer hands up or we gonna make sure ya croak _real_ slow!"

The bandits came riding in from all directions and surrounded the group, laughing and firing off bullets. "Don't waste 'em!" one shouted. "Jacky said shoot to kill!"

"Now, now," said the captain, "can't we work this out like civilized men?"

_Nope,_ he was told by the simultaneous clicking of revolvers. "Count o' three!" their leader said. "Thr-AAAHHH!" He and his horse were knocked over as Marvin barreled into the circle, bellowing with fury and kicking anyone who dared aim a gun at the pirates. The rest of the bandits were soon scattering and screaming as the bison chased after them.

"Captain?" Albino Pirate asked. "What's going on?"

"It'll all make sense later."

"Would _someone_ kill that thing?!" the bandit leader yelled as he picked himself off the ground.

One of the men raised his gun, but it was blasted from his hand by a bullet as the loud, frenetic clanging of a bell filled the air. _"Weg mit dir!"_

Albino Pirate cheered while his crew members simply stared at the gigantic metal barrel on its side that came roaring onto the scene. Sparks flew from its wheels, and steam poured from a pipe in the back. In the front seat sat Wechsler. He was wearing large goggles over his eyes, had the steering wheel of the horseless carriage in one hand and a rifle in the other. "Avay vith you!"

The bandits were more than happy to oblige.

"What are you doing out here?" Albino Pirate and Jenny asked as he stopped in front of them and took the goggles off.

"Zee sheriff sent me to bring you back! He is getting zee people together to fight your father, Miss Vinters." He beckoned to them, and they jumped into the contraption.

"You know how I feel about not being told things!" the captain said.

"It vould take a fery long time to explain — "

"Yes, I know. That's why we're coming along," he answered as he climbed onto Marvin's back. "Number Two, you're with me. Think the rest of us could fit in that machine of yours?"

"Of course! Eferyone inside!" Wechsler declared as he put on his goggles and revved the engine. _"Ẕw nẕẖwn!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For extra fun, the finale of the William Tell Overture should be played at this time.


	15. Chapter 15

"James?" Phineas called out as he and Averell stepped into the sheriff's office. "James, are you still in here?"

"Wasn't plannin' to leave." Hedley was leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up on his desk and his hat covering his eyes. "What are y'all here for?"

"Jennifer's run off. We're going after her as soon as we get everyone together — " **  
**

"No, you ain't." Standing up, he raised a revolver and pointed it at the men. "I don't quite know what y'all got planned with whatever's under this town. But if it lands you in the White House, it can't be good."

They stared at the gun, eyes slightly widened. "Why, you can hardly aim!" Phineas finally sputtered.

"I can't, but _they_ can."

The angry shouts of the townspeople drifted in from outside as they surrounded the sheriff's office. "Come out here or we're comin' in for ya! You got 'em, Jim? Bring 'em out!"

Hedley smiled. "Wouldn't be right to disappoint my folks, now would it?"

"...I don't think that gun is loaded, James."

"Maybe it ain't or maybe it is. You wanna test that hunch, boys?"

Averell stepped forward, his hands raised over his head. "I'm sorry it has to go this way, James. I truly am. Mr. Jackson?"

A meaty hand grabbed Hedley by the neck and slammed him down onto the desk while another pried the gun from his fingers and held it to his head. "You always was hard of hearin', Jim."

Outside, the people screamed as more of Jackson's bandits jumped down from the roofs and advanced on them. They were waving guns and knives, grabbing children and forcing the adults into a tight circle. Jackson kicked the door open and dragged Hedley onto the porch, his arms tied behind his back. "Now here's what's gonna happen," he said. "Y'all gonna clear outta this town an' act like you was never here." He turned his gun on Hedley. "An' _this_ is what's gonna happen if y'all don't... _shut that bell off!"_

"We don't know where it's comin' from, Jacky," one of his men said as the distant clanging quickly grew louder.

"Well, _find out_ where it's comin' from!"

This, however, was not needed. _"Look out!"_ someone screamed, and townspeople and bandits alike backed away in fear as Wechsler's car careened around with Marvin right behind it.

_"Avast!"_ the Pirate Captain shouted as he jumped off the bison's back waving his cutlass. "Fear us not, good people! Unless you're one of those bandits. In which case, _flee in terror!"_

"No offense," said Charles as the occupants of the car stumbled out, "but I wouldn't be particularly disappointed if we never did that again."

"Y'all ain't ever gonna do anything again," Jackson hissed. He stormed off the porch through the crowd towards the pirates, and his men followed suit. "Where's that kid?"

They quickly spotted Albino Pirate, but Pirate With Gout stepped in front of him. "Ye'll have to get through us first."

"Much obliged."

Jackson flinched as a small, hard object bounced off the back of his head. Beatrice still had her slingshot, and she had thrown a rock at him. "Leave him alone!"

One by one, the townspeople echoed her. "Yeah!" they shouted. "He ain't done nothin' wrong!"

"Oh? An' what do y'all think yer gonna do when I kill 'im?"

The crowd was more than happy to demonstrate. Screaming, they surged forward with their weapons raised.

Averell was still inside, hiding behind Hedley's desk. "What's going on out there?" he demanded.

Phineas peered through the window. "Nothing good, that's for certain."

* * *

The bandits cackled as they saw the people beginning to run. The adults fled into their houses, and the children followed through flaps in the walls. "Where ya goin', kids?" they teased, kneeling down and trying to crawl after them. "Ain't this fun?"

They were answered by the sensation of smoke bombs hurled in their faces, being dragged into the houses by their arms and having a shovel introduced to the backs of their heads.

* * *

A bandit ducked behind a barrel placed between two buildings. _Not a bad spot,_ he thought. Good for hiding, good for shooting from...not so good if you didn't want something breathing down your neck...

_"YEOUCH!"_ he screamed as Marvin clamped onto his long, scraggly hair and tried to pull it off. "Get off!" Pushing the bison away, he tried to flee and ran straight into the barrels of several shotguns. "I...uh...mornin'?"

* * *

"Come on, come on..."

"All outta bullets, missy?"

Emma looked up to see two bandits encroaching on her. "Jacky said we ought to come lookin' for ya," they said. "He's still havin' trouble walkin', ya see."

They laughed as she pulled a small knife from her belt and pointed it at them. "What, you gonna kill us with that? You'd have more luck tryin' to throw us 'cross town!"

"Not a bad idea, that," she said, smirking as the Pirate Who Likes Sunsets And Kittens picked them up by the collars of their shirts, banged their heads together and sent them flying through the air.

* * *

Yellow-Eyes Jackson was not a particularly intelligent man, but he knew what a losing battle was. While his men were being herded into a circle in the center of town, he had grabbed a horse by the reins and was trying to get into the saddle. "Hold still...!"

A hand pulled him to the ground. "Can't even bother to look out fer yer own boys, huh?"

"What do you want, Jim?" he growled as he struggled to his feet.

"To see this done."

"So do I." Jackson reached for his gun, but it had somehow slipped from his holster.

"Don't worry," Hedley said as he pulled out his cutlass. "You ain't gonna need that, anyway."

Jackson briefly backed up in surprise before whipping a long, rusty knife from his belt and charging. He aimed for the ribs, but Hedley stepped aside at the last moment and slashed at his arm. The men slammed each others' blades together, knocking them away. Jackson's attacks came in quick, brutal bursts, and Hedley brushed them all aside with calm, powerful sweeps. The bandit's attacks began to take on a different form; punching, kicking, spitting. "This ain't fair!" he finally yelled as the sheriff pushed him back.

"Oh, _now_ y'all care 'bout what's fair." Seeing that one of Jackson's feet was bandaged, Hedley stomped on it. Jackson shrieked in pain and fell to the ground, dropping his knife. Picking it up, Hedley held both blades to his opponent's neck.

"...Go on," Jackson said, pointing at his left eye. "Take it. I know you want to."

"There ain't no point anymore." With that, Hedley hoisted him up and hauled him into the circle to join the rest of his men.

"Is that all of them?" the Pirate Captain asked as the dust settled.

"Still got two more," Hedley answered as he looked to the sheriff's office. The Winters brothers had emerged onto the porch, and the crowd now advanced on them.

Averell, however, was focused on the stagecoach which was slowly pulling up to the post office. "Help!" he shouted as he leapt off the porch, dashed across the street and flung the door open. "The people of this town have all gone mad! You've got to... _oh_...oh, hello..." He backed away in horror as an older gentlemen in a neatly pressed black suit stepped out of the coach.

"Hello, Senator," the man said, looking over the damage. "I see you've been busy." He strolled past the rapidly blanching Averell and towards the crowd. "I take it that one of you is the head of law enforcement in this area?"

"An' who are you, exactly?" one of the men shouted.

"Martin Van Buren."

Everyone fell silent, even the bandits.

"I...I'm the sheriff 'round these parts, Mr. President," Hedley said as he stepped forward with his hat in his hands. "Jim Hedley. What can I do for y'all?"

"It has come to my attention, Mr. Hedley, that Senator Winters has aided and abetted local criminals with the intent of gaining their assistance in his plan to manipulate the presidential election process to his own benefit. I had come to inform you of the situation and apprehend him."

"No offense, but we kinda knew already."

"If yer gonna arrest 'im," Jackson piped up, "y'all better do it quick."

"What are you — "

Two high-pitched screams drowned out all other noises. Averell had picked up Beatrice, Phineas had grabbed Jenny and the brothers were frantically dragging the girls towards the stagecoach. "Let go of me!" Jenny was shouting as she struggled.

"Do as you're told and get in the coach, girl — "

_"I am never doing anything you say ever again!"_ Wrenching herself free, she shoved him to the ground. He landed on one of the box traps and fell shrieking through the dirt into his waiting prison.

Jenny's brief moment of elation was shattered by the sound of the stagecoach door opening and closing. "Beatrice! _No!"_

Averell had already locked Beatrice in the coach, climbed up to the drivers' seat and knocked the driver off. With a flick of the reins, the coach rolled off as Beatrice fearfully looked out through the window.

While the townspeople began to chase after it, Albino Pirate grabbed a revolver and darted towards one of the buildings. A ladder was propped against the side, and he climbed up it to the roof. "What are you doing, lad?" the captain exclaimed when he saw him.

The boy hardly heard him. Raising the gun, he aimed it just below the body of the stagecoach and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew through the air and struck a back wheel of the coach right in the hub. The whole thing broke apart, and the coach wobbled before falling on its side and throwing Averell to the ground.

Jenny and Wechsler tore open the door. "It's okay now, you're safe," Jenny said as she pulled her sister out and hugged her.

Averell spit out a mouthful of dirt as he got back up and stumbled right into Hedley's grip. "Mr. Winters, it is my pleasure to place you under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. I'd prefer that, honestly."

Albino Pirate scrambled down the ladder and ran to the scene, the revolver still dangling in his hand. "Did...Did I get it?"

Everyone stared at him in awe. One of the townspeople began to clap, and the rest soon joined him. It wasn't long before they were all cheering for the boy like mad. "Hip, hip, _hooray!"_

The pirates could only smile and shake their heads as their lad was hoisted onto someone's shoulders and paraded around town. _Well, would you look at that._


	16. Chapter 16

After that, everything seemed to happen at once. Averell and Phineas spent a night in the jail before being loaded into a stagecoach and sent back east to be put on trial. When their papers were searched for evidence, the people discovered a map which showed the outlines of the silver mine. It was beneath more than just the town, it was the largest in the territory. "Worth an untold amount, to be sure," the President said when he was told. "You may have all which is located within your city limits. Even that will make you very rich indeed."

There was no doubt in most minds that Senator Winters would be found guilty. All his property, including the railroad, would be passed to his heir. "That being you, Miss Jennifer," the company lawyer said when he came to sort it all out.

As the blood drained from Jenny's face, Wechsler placed a hand on her shoulder. "Perhaps Miss Vinters would like an assistant to oversee zis business for her? At least until she comes of age?"

"I'm not sure if — " **  
**

"Yes!" Jenny exclaimed. "Yes, I would like that very much."

Then came the matter of finding a guardian for the girls. "It will take a while," the authorities were saying, "seeing as they have no living relatives — "

"I'll take 'em in," Hedley said. "Y'know, if they're okay with it."

The girls said that they were, and so it was done.

After an evening of deliberation, the townspeople announced to Albino Pirate and the rest of the crew that they had agreed upon a proper reward for them: all the silver they could carry from the mine. "You're the reason we even have it. It's the least we can do."

Now here they all were. The pirates had found their ship and brought it to town, and the captain was eagerly calculating the maximum number of barrels he could fit inside. The people were helping load them into the hold, Marvin was trying to eat Wechsler's blueprint for a track-laying machine, and the children were standing with Hedley on his porch watching it all. "Will you go back to Blood Island after this?" Jenny asked Albino Pirate.

He nodded. "Captain will want to show this to everyone."

"Maybe you can come back sometime!" Beatrice chirped.

"Maybe I will."

"Come on, lad!" the captain shouted. "It's your turn to man the crows' nest!"

"Best o' luck to ya, boy," Hedley said, tipping his hat.

"Haf a safe voyage, _mein kleiner Freund!"_

"We're going to miss you!"

"Yes," Jenny added. "We all are."

Albino Pirate hugged them, and they watched as he hurried up the gangplank and disappeared into the boat.

Looking up, Beatrice saw that her sister's smile had already faded. "Are you alright, Jenny?"

"I'm fine enough..." As she watched the last barrels being loaded, Jenny noticed that one of them was still open and empty. "...Beatrice?" she asked, kneeling down. "I want you to be very good for me. Can you do that?"

"Yes, but why?"

"There's something very important that I have to do, and it might be a very long time before we see each other again. Do you understand?"

"...I think so."

"Good," she said, smiling and hugging her sister. "Mr. Hedley, I'm going to need some straw and a lid for that barrel."

Hedley nodded knowingly. "Whatever you say, Princess."

* * *

The Pirate Captain breathed in the salty sea air and whistled a shanty as he strolled across the deck of the Pirate Ship. "Good to be back, isn't it, lad?" he asked Albino Pirate, who was sitting at the stern.

"Yes, sir," he answered halfheartedly.

"We're all quite proud of you, you know. Thought we'd have a Ham Night to celebrate. Doesn't that sound nice?"

The boy smiled and nodded.

 _"There's_ that grin of yours!" the captain said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Now, I need you to go take some inventory. Make it quick!"

Albino Pirate let his glumness reappear as he dropped into the hold and began to count the tightly packed barrels of silver. One, two, three...what were his other friends doing right now? And why was that barrel moving? He watched as it pushed itself off the top of a stack, fell onto its side and rolled across the floor to his feet. "Why won't you open...?"

_"...Miss Jenny?"_

A force from inside the barrel pushed the lid off, and out she tumbled. "Just a little lightheaded, that's all."

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he helped her up.

"It seemed like a good idea," she answered, picking straw out of her hair. "I wanted to be sure I got on board."

"Lad?" they heard the captain call out. "Is everything alright down there?" He and the others entered the hold and stopped short at the sight of Jenny.

"I've come to join your crew, sir," she said, straightening herself up.

"Er...I didn't get the impression that you were much of a pirate, miss."

"I'm not much of what I used to be, either, and I'd rather not go back to it. I know a bit of fighting. I can earn my keep, I promise you that."

The captain was still trying to process what was going on. "Are you quite sure...?"

"Yes."

"...Well," he finally said, "I see no reason why you can't come along. Are we all in agreement?"

The others nodded, Albino Pirate most enthusiastically of all.

"Then welcome aboard! Number Two, remind me to set out an extra place for tonight. How'd you like a tour? The hold's not the greatest first impression..."

The boat continued its voyage to Blood Island, its crew failing to notice a certain bison swimming along behind them.

* * *

**|~| The End |~|**


End file.
